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C J Dennis - Fred
Work rating: Low

Do you know Fred?  Now there`s a man to know 
   These days when politics are in the air, 
An` argument is bargin` to an` fro
   Without a feller gittin` anywhere.
Fred never argues; he`s too shrewd for that.  
   He`s wise.  He knows the game from A to Z.
All politics is talkin` thro` the hat; 
   An` everyone is wrong -- exceptin` Fred.  

Fred says there ain`t no sense in politics;
   Says he can`t waste his time on all that rot.  
Trust him.  He`s up to all their little tricks,
   You`d be surprised the cunnin` schemes he`s got.  
Fred says compulsory voting is a cow.
   He has to vote, or else he would be fined, 
But he just spoils his paper anyhow,
   An` laughs at` em with his superior mind.

But when a law comes in that hits Fred`s purse,
   You ought to hear him then.  Say, he does rouse;
Kicks up an awful row an` hurls his curse
   On every bloomin` member in the House.
He gives `em nothin`; says they all are crook,
   All waitin` for a chance to turn their coats;
Says they are traitors; proves it by the book.
   An` can you wonder that he never votes?

Aw, say, you must know Fred.  You`ll hear his skite
   Upon street corners all about the place.
An` if you up an` say it serves him right,
   He answers that it only proves his case:
Them politicians wouldn`t tax him so
   Unless they were all crooked, like he said,
Where is the sense in votin` when they go
   An` rob a man like that.  Hurray for Fred!
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