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C J Dennis - Jim`s Girl
Work rating: Low

"`Oo is that girl," sez Digger Smith,
That never seems to bother with
   No blokes: the bint with curly `air?
   I`ve often seen `er over there
Talkin` to Missus Flood, an` she
Seems like a reel ripe peach to me.

"Not that I`m askin`" ... `Ere `is eyes
Goes sort uv swiv`ly, an` `e sighs.
   "Not that I`m askin` with idears
   Uv love an` marridge; `ave no fears.
I`ve chucked the matrimony plan,"
`E sez. "I`m only `arf a man."

This Digger Smith `as fairly got
Me rampin` with `is "`arf a man" rot.
   `E `as a timber leg, it`s true;
   But `e can do the work uv two.
Besides, the things `e`s done Out There
Makes `im one man an` some to spare.

I knoo `is question was jist kid.
`E`d met this girl; I know `e did.
   `E knoo Jim Flood an` `er was booked
   For double when the `Un was cooked.
But, seein` `er, it used to start
`Im thinkin` of another tart.

"Oh, `er?" sez I. "She is a pearl.
I`ve `eard she used to be Jim`s girl;
   But she was jist a child when Jim
   Got out. She `as forgotten `im."
I knows jist wot is in `is mind,
An` sez, "Wade in, if you`re inclined."

`E give me such a narsty look
I thought `e meant to answer crook;
   But, "I ain`t out for jokes," sez `e
   "Yeh needn`t sling that stuff to me.
I only was jist thinkin` -- p`r`aps...
There`s some," `e sez, "that sticks to chaps.

"Some girls," sez `e, "keeps true to chaps,
An` wed `em when they`ve done with scraps,
   An` come `ome whole. Yeh don`t ixpec`
   No tart to tie up with a wreck?
Besides," `e sez ... "Well, any`ow,
That girl`s all right; I know it now.

"I know," sez Smith. "I got it right.
Jim used to talk to me at night
   About a little girl `e tracked.
   `Er name is Flo. Ain`t that a fact?
That`s `er. I know she writes to `im
Each mail. She ain`t forgotten Jim.

"I`d like to swap my luck for Jim`s
If `e comes `ome with all `is limbs.
   An` if `e don`t -- well, I dunno.
   I`ve taken notice uv this Flo,
An` wonder if" -- `e stares at me --
"If there is more like `er" sez `e.

Now, Digger Smith as learned a lot
Out fightin` there, but `e ain`t got
   The cunnin` for to `ide `is `eart.
   `E`s  too damn honest, for a start;
`Is mind`s dead simple to a friend.
I`ve read `im through from end to end.

I`ve learned from things `e `asn`t said
Jist wot`s been running in `is `ead.
   I know there is a girl, somewhere:
   Some one `oo `ad the `eart to care
For `im when `e went to the war.
I know all that, an` somethin` more.

I know that since `e came back `ere
`E `asn`t seen that girl for fear
   She`d turn `im down -- give `im the bird,
   An` `and `im out the frozen word,
Because `e`s left a leg in France;
An` `e`s afraid to take the chance.

Well, not afraid, p`r`aps, but -- shook.
It`s jist the form `is nerves `ave took.
   Now `e`s been watchin` Flo an` seen
   `Er style, an` `ow she`s always keen
For news uv Jim. Then `e starts out
To `ope, an` `esitate, an` doubt.

`E wonders if `is own girl spoke
Jist this same way about `er bloke.
   `E wonders if in `is girl`s eyes
   That same look came; an` then `e sighs,
An` dulls `is senses with that dope
That `arf a man ain`t got no `ope.

`E makes me tired. But, all the same,
I tries to work a little game.
   "Look `ere," I sez. "About this Flo.
   Jim mightn`t come back `ome, yeh know.
You `ave a fly; yeh`re sure to score;
Besides, all`s fair in love an`war."

"Sling that!" `e sez; but I goes on:
"Ole Jim won`t blame yeh when she`s gone.
   `E knows, the same as me an` you,
   These silly tarts, they can`t keep true."
I piles it on, until I`ve got
`Im where I want `im -- jumpin` `ot.

An` then `e says, "`Ere, sling that talk!
I might be groggy in me walk;
   But if yeh say them things to me
   I`m man enough to crack yeh; see?"
"Righto," sez I. "That was me plan.
Now wot about this `arf a man?"

`E stares at me, an` then sez, slow,
"Wot is yer game? Wot do yeh know?"
   "Nothin`," I tells `im, "only this:
   When there`s a waitin` tart to kiss
Yeh`re only `arf a man; but when
There`s blokes to fight, yeh`re twenty men."

"Wot tart?" `e asks. "Yeh mean this Flo?"
"P`r`aps not," I sez. "You ought to know."...
   I waits an` lets me words sink in.
   An` then- `e beats me with that grin.
"Match-makin`, Bill?" `e laughs. "Oh, `Ell!
You take up knittin` for a spell."
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