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C J Dennis - Dummy Bridge
Work rating: Low

"If I`d `a` played me Jack on that there Ten"
   Sez Peter Begg, "I might `a` made the lot."
"`Ow could yeh?" barks ole Poole. "`Ow could yeh, when
   I `ad me Queen be`ind?" Sez Begg, "Wot rot!
I slung away me King to take that trick.
Which one! Say, ain`t yer `ead a trifle thick?"

"Now, don`t yeh see that when I plays me King
   I give yer Queen a chance, an` lost the slam."
But Poole, `e sez `e don`t see no such thing,
   So Begg gits `ot, an` starts to loose a "Damn."
`E twigs the missus jist in time to check,
An` makes it "Dash," an` gits red down `is neck.

There`s me an` Peter Begg, an` ole man Poole -
   Neighbours uv mine, that farm a bit close by -
Jist once a week or so we makes a school,
   An` gives this game uv Dummy Bridge a fly.
Doreen, she `as her sewing be the fire,
The kid`s in bed; an` `ere`s me `eart`s desire.

`Ome-comfort, peace, the picter uv me wife
   `Appy at work, me neighbours gathered round
All friendly-like -- wot more is there in life?
   I`ve searched a bit, but better I ain`t found.
Doreen, she seems content, but in `er eye
I`ve seen reel pity when the talk gits `igh.

This ev`nin` we `ad started off reel `ot:
   Two little slams, an` Poole, without a score,
Still lookin` sore about the cards `e`d got --
   When, sudden-like, a knock comes to the door.
"A visitor," growls Begg, "to crool our game."
An` looks at me, as though I was to blame.

Jist as Doreen goes out, I seen `er grin.
   "Deal `em up quick!" I whispers. "Grab yer `and,
An` look reel occupied when they comes in.
   Per`aps they`ll `ave the sense to understand.
If it`s a man, maybe `e`ll make a four;
But if" -- Then Missus Flood comes in the door.

`Twas ole Mar Flood, `er face wrapped in a smile.
   "Now, boys," she sez, "don`t let me spoil yer game.
I`ll jist chat with Doreen a little while;
   But if yeh stop I`ll be ashamed I came."
An` then she waves a letter in `er `and.
Sez she, "Our Jim`s a soldier! Ain`t it grand?"

"Good boy," sez Poole. "Let`s see. I make it `earts."
   "Doubled!" shouts Begg..."An` `e`s been in a fight,"
Sez Missus Flood, "out in them furrin` parts.
   French, I suppose. I can`t pronounce it right.
`E`s been once wounded, somewhere in the leg..."
"`Ere, Bill! Yeh gone to sleep?" asks Peter Begg.

I plays me Queen uv Spades, an` plays `er bad.
   Begg snorts...."My boy," sighs Missus Flood. "My Jim."...
"King `ere," laughs Poole. "That`s the last Spade I `ad."...
   Doreen she smiles: "I`m glad yeh`ve `eard from `im."...
"We`re done," groans Begg. "Why did yeh nurse yer Ace?"...
"My Jim!" An` there was sunlight in `er face.

"I always thought a lot of Jim, I did,"
   Sez Begg. "`E does yeh credit. `Ere, your deal."
"That`s so," sez Poole. "`E was an all-right kid.
   No trumps? I`m sorry that`s the way yeh feel.
`Twill take yeh all yer time to make the book."...
An` then Doreen sends me the wireless look.

I gets the S.O.S.; but Begg is keen.
   "My deal," `e yaps. "Wot rotten cards I get."
Ole Missus Flood sits closer to Doreen.
   "The best," she whispers, "I ain`t told yeh yet."
I strains me ears, an` leads me King uv Trumps.
"Ace `ere!" grins Begg. Poole throws `is Queen -- an` thumps.

"That saves me Jack!" `owls Begg. "Tough luck ole sport."...
   Sez Missus Flood, "Jim`s won a medal, too
For doin` somethin` brave at Bullycourt."...
   "Play on, play on," growls Begg. "It`s up to you."
Then I reneges, an` trumps me partner`s Ace,
An` Poole gets sudden murder in `is face.

"I`m sick of this `ere game," `e grunts. "It`s tame."
   "Righto," I chips. "Suppose we toss it in?"
Begg don`t say nothin`; so we sling the game.
   On my wife`s face I twigs a tiny grin.
"Finished?" sez she, su`prised. "Well, p`r`aps it`s right.
It looks to me like `earts was trumps tonight."

An` so they was. An`, say, the game was grand.
   Two hours we sat while that ole mother told
About `er Jim, `is letter in `er `and,
   An`, on `er face, a glowing look that rolled
The miles all up that lie `twixt France an` `ere,
An` found `er son, an` brought `im very near.

A game uv Bridge it was, with `earts for trumps.
   We was the dummies, sittin` silent there.
I knoo the men, like me, was feelin` chumps:
   Foolin` with cards while this was in the air.
It took Doreen to shove us in our place;
An` mother `eld the lot, right from the Ace.

She told us `ow `e said `e`d writ before,
   An` `ow the letters must `ave gone astray;
An` `ow the stern ole father still was sore,
   But looked like `e`d be soft`nin`, day by day;
`Ow pride in Jim peeps out be`ind `is frown,
An` `ow the ole fool `opes to `ide it down.

"I knoo," she sez. "I never doubted Jim.
   But wot could any mother say or do
When pryin` folks asked wot become uv `im,
   But drop `er eyes an` say she never knoo.
Now I can lift me `ead to that sly glance,
An` say, `Jim`s fightin`, with the rest, in France.`"

An` when she`s gone, us four we don`t require
   No gossipin` to keep us in imploy.
Ole Poole sits starin` `ard into the fire.
   I guessed that `e was thinkin` uv `is boy,
`Oo`s been right in it from the very start;
An` Poole was thinkin` uv a father`s part.

An` then `e speaks: "This war `as turned us `ard.
   Suppose, four year ago, yeh said to me
That I`d sit `eedless, starin` at a card
   While that ole mother -- Good Lord!" sez `e
"It takes the women for to put us wise
To playin` games in war-time," `an `e sighs.

An` `ere Doreen sets out to put `im right.
   "There`s games an` games," she sez. "When women starts
A hand at Bridge like she `as played tonight
   It`s Nature teachin` `em to make it `earts.
The other suits are yours," she sez; "but then,
That`s as it should be, seein` you are men."

"Maybe," sez Poole; an` both gits up to go.
   I stands beside the door when they are gone,
Watching their lanterns swingin` to an` fro,
   An` `ears Begg`s voice as they goes trudgin` on:
"If you `ad led that Queen we might `ave made..."
"Rubbidge!" shouts Poole. "You mucked it with yer Spade!"
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