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C J Dennis - A Digger`s Tale
Work rating: Low

"My oath!" the Duchess sez. "You`d not ixpect
   Sich things as that. Yeh don`t mean kangaroos?
Go hon!" she sez, or words to that effect --
   (It`s `ard to imitate the speech they use)
I tells `er, `Straight; I drives `em four-in-`and
		`Ome in my land.`

"You `ear a lot," sez little Digger Smith,
   "About `ow English swells is so stand-off.
Don`t yeh believe it; it`s a silly myth.
   I`ve been reel cobbers with the British toff
While I`m on leaf; for Blighty likes our crowd,
		An` done us proud.

"Us Aussies was the goods in London town
   When I was there. If they jist twigged your `at
The Dooks would ask yeh could yeh keep one down,
   An` Earls would `ang out `Welcome` on the mat,
An` sling yeh invites to their stately `alls
		For fancy balls.

"This Duchess -- I ain`t quite sure uv `er rank;
   She might `ave been a Peeress. I dunno.
I meets `er `usband first. `E owns a bank,
   I `eard, an` `arf a dozen mints or so.
A dinkum toff. `E sez, `Come `ome with me
		An` `ave some tea.`

"That`s `ow I met this Duchess Wot`s-`er-name --
   Or Countess -- never mind `er moniker;
I ain`t no `and at this `ere title game --
   An` right away, I was reel pals with `er.
`Now, tell me all about yer `ome,` sez she,
		An` smiles at me.

"That knocks me out. I know it ain`t no good
   Paintin` word-picters uv the things I done
Out `ome `ere, barrackin` for Collin`wood,
   Or puntin` on the flat at Flemin`ton.
I know this Baroness uv Wot-yeh-call
		Wants somethin` tall.

"I thinks reel `ard; an` then I lets it go.
   I tell `er, out at Richmond, on me Run --
A little place uv ten square mile or so --
   I`m breedin` boomerangs; which is reel fun,
When I ain`t troubled by the wild Jonops
		That eats me crops.

"I talks about the wondrous Boshter Bird
   That builds `er nest up in the Cobber Tree,
An` `atches out `er young on May the third,
   Stric` to the minute, jist at `arf past three.
`Er eyes get big. She sez, `Can it be true?`
		`Er eyes was blue.

"An` then I speaks uv sport, an` tells `er `ow
   In `untin` our wild Wowsers we imploy
Large packs uv Barrackers, an` `ow their row
  Wakes echoes in the forests uv Fitzroy,
Where lurks the deadly Shicker Snake `oo`s breath
		Is certain death.

"I`m goin` on to talk of kangaroos,
   An` `ow I used to drive `em four-in-`and.
`Wot?` sez the Marchioness. `Them things in zoos
   That `ops about? I`ve seen then in the Strand
In double `arness; but I ain`t seen four.
		Tell me some more.`

I baulks a bit at that; an` she sez, `"Well,
   There ain`t no cause at all for you to feel
Modest about the things you `ave to tell;
   An` wot you says wonderfully reel.
Your talk" - an` `ere I seen `er eyelids flick --
		"Makes me `omesick".

"I reckerlect," she sez -- "Now let me see --
   In Gippsland, long ago, when I was young,
I `ad a little pet Corroboree,"
   (I sits up in me chair like I was stung.)
`On it`s `ind legs,` she sez, `it used to stand.
		Fed from me `and."

"Uv cours, I threw me alley in right there.
   This Princess was a dinkum Aussie girl.
I can`t do nothin` else but sit an` stare,
   Thinkin` so rapid that me `air roots curl.
But `er? She sez, "I ain`t `eard talk so good
		Since my childhood.

"`I wish," sez she, "I could be back again
   Beneath the wattle an` that great blue sky.
It`s like a breath uv `ome to meet you men.
   You`ve done reel well," she sez. "Don`t you be shy.
When yer in Blighty once again," sez she,
		"Come an` see me."

"I don`t see `er no more; `cos I stopped one.
   But, `fore I sails, I gits a billy doo
Which sez, "Give my love to the dear ole Sun,
   An` take an exile`s blessin` `ome with you.
An` if you `ave some boomerangs to spare,
		Save me a pair.

"`I`d like to see `em play about," she wrote,
   "Out on me lawn, an` stroke their pretty fur.
God bless yeh, boy." An` then she ends `er note,
   "Yer dinkum cobber," an` `er moniker.
A sport? You bet! She`s marri`d to an Earl --
		An Aussie girl."
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