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C J Dennis - The Barber`s Story
Work rating: Low

"Mornin`," I sez to `im,
   Gloomy, `e seemed to be.
Glum an` unsociable.  Comes in the shop
   "Mornin`," I sez to `im.
   `E don`t say anythin`.
 "You`re next," I sez; an` `e sits with a flop.

   "Great Cup?" I sez to `im.
   Shakin` the wrappin`s out.
`E don`t say nuthin`; but jist give a grunt.
   "Great win?" I sez to `im,
   Smilin` incouragin`.
"Wonderful way that `e come to the front."

   `E don`t reply to me.
   Sits sorta glarin` like.
"Phar Lap," I sez to `im.  "Wonder `orse. Wot?
   `Ave a win yestidy?"
   Still `e don`t answer me.
"Phar Lap," I sez, "`e made `acks of the lot."

   "Champeen," I sez to `him.
   "Wonderful popiler…
This `ere Tregiller, `e never showed up…
   Phar Lap," I sez to `im,
   "Mus` be a wonder `orse.
But this Tregiller run bad in the Cup."

   "Wot?" `e come back at me,
   Lookin` peculiar -
Red in the face, so I thought `e would choke.
   "Cab-horse!" `e sez to me,
   Nasty an` venimous -
Reel disagreeable sort of a bloke.

   "Tregiller!" `e sez to me,
   Glarin` reel murderous.
"Tregiller!!" `e barks at me. "That `airy goat!"
   Surly, `e seemed to me -
   Man couldn`t talk to `im. . . .
   "`Air-cut?" I sez to `im.
"No!" `e sez.  "Throat!"
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