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C J Dennis - Jim
Work rating: Low

"Now, be the Hokey Fly!" sez Peter Begg.
"Suppose `e comes `ome with a wooden leg.
  Suppose `e isn`t fit to darnce at all,
  Then, ain`t we `asty fixin` up this ball?
A little tournament at Bridge is my
Idear," sez Peter. "Be the Hokey Fly!"

Ole Peter Begg is gettin` on in years.
`E owns a reel good farm; an` all `e fears
  Is that some girl will land `im, by an` by,
  An` shar it with `im - be the Hokey Fly.
That`s `is pet swear-word, an` I dunno wot
`E`s meanin`, but `e uses it a lot.

"Darncin`!" growls Begg. We`re fixin` up the `all
With bits uv green stuff for a little ball
  To welcome Jim, `oo`s comin` `ome nex` day.
  We`re `angin` flags around to make things gay,
An` shiftin` chairs, an` candle-greasin` floors,
As is our way when blokes comes `ome from wars.

"A little game uv Bridge," sez Peter Begg.
"Would be more decent like, an` p`r`aps a keg
  Uv somethin` if the `ero`s feelin` dry.
  But this `ere darncin`! Be the Hokey Fly,
These selfish women never thinks at all
About the guest; they only wants the ball.

"Now, cards," sez Begg, "amuses ev`ry one.
An` then our soldier guest could `ave `is fun
  If `e`d lost both `is legs. It makes me sick-
  `Ere! Don`t spread that candle-grease too thick
Yeh`re wastin` it; an` us men `as to buy
Enough for nonsense, be the Hokey Fly!"

Begg, `e ain`t never keen on wastin` much.
"Peter," I sez, "it`s you that needs a crutch.
  Why don`t yeh get a wife, an` settle down?"
  `E looks reel fierce, an` answers, with a frown,
"Do you think I am goin` to be rooked
For `arf me tucker, jist to get it cooked?"

I lets it go at that, an` does me job;
An` when a little later on I lob
  Along the `omeward track, down by Flood`s gate
  I meet ole Digger Smith, an` stops to state
Me views about the weather an` the war…
`E tells me Jim gets `ere nex` day, at four.

An` as we talk, I sees along the road
A strange bloke `umpin` some queer sort uv load.
  I points `im out to Smith an` sez, "Oo`s that?
  Looks like a soldier, don`t `e, be `is `at?"
"Stranger," sez Digger, "be the cut uv `im."
But, trust a mother`s eyes…"It`s Jim! My Jim!

My Jim!" I `ears; an` scootin` up the track
Come Missus Flood, with Flo close at `er back.
  It was a race, for lover an` for son;
  They finished neck an` neck; but mother won,
For it was `er that got the first big `ug.
(I`m so took back I stands there like a mug.)

Then come Flo`s turn; an` Jim an` Digger they
Shake `ands without no fancy, gran`-stand play.
  Yeh`d think they parted yesterd`y them two.
  For all the wild `eroics that they do.
"Yeh done it, lad" sez Jim. "I knoo yeh would."
"You bet," sez Smith; "but I`m all to the good."

Then, uv a sudden, all their tongues is loosed.
They finds me there, an` I am intrajuiced;
  An` Jim tells `ow it was `e came to land
  So soon, while Mar an` Flo each `olds a `and.
But, jist as sudden, they all stop an` stare
Down to the `ouse, at Dad Flood standin` there.

`E`s got `is `and up shadin` off the sun.
Then `e starts up to them; but Dad don`t run:
  `E isn`t `owlin` for `is lost boy`s kiss;
  `E`s got `is own sweet way in things like this.
`E wanders up, and` stands an` looks at Jim.
An`, spare me days, that look was extra grim!

I seen the mother pluckin` at `er dress;
I seen the girl`s white face an` `er distress.
  An` Digger Smith, `e looks reel queer to me:
  Grinnin` inside `imself `e seemed to be.
At last Dad sez - oh, `e`s a tough ole gun! -
"Well, are yeh sorry now for what yeh done?"

Jim gives a start; but answers with a grin,
"Well, Dad, I `ave been learnin` discipline.
  An` tho` I ain`t quite sure wot did occur
  Way back" - `e`s grinnin` worse - "I`m sorry, sir."
(It beats me, that, about these soldier blokes:
They`re always grinnin`, like all things was jokes.)

P`r`aps Dad is gettin` dull in `is ole age;
But `e don`t seem to see Jim`s cammyflage.
  P`r`aps `e don`t want to; for, in `is ole eye,
  I seen a twinkle as `e give reply.
"Nex` week," `e sez, "we will begin to cart
The taters. Yeh can make another start."

But then `e grabs Jim`s `and. I seen the joy
In mother`s eyes. "Now, welcome `ome, me boy,"
  Sez Dad; an` then `e adds, "Yeh`ve made me proud;"
  That`s all. An` `e don`t add it none too loud.
Dad don`t express `is feelin`s in a shout;
It cost `im somethin` to git that much out.


We `ad the darnce. An`, spite uv all Begg`s fears,
Jim darnced like `e could keep it up for years;
  Mostly with Flo. We don`t let up till three;
  An` then ole Peter Begg, Doreen an` me
We walk together `ome, an` on the way,
Doreen `as quite a lot uv things to say.

"Did you see Flo?" sez she. "Don`t she look grand?
That Jim`s the luckiest in all the land-
  An` little Smith - that girl uv is, I`m sure,
  She`ll bring `im `appiness that will endure."
She `ugs my arm, then sez "`Usband or wife,
If it`s the right one, is the wealth uv life."

I sneaks a look at Begg, an` answers, "Yes,
Yeh`re right, ole girl; that`s the reel `appiness.
  An` if ole, lonely growlers was to know
  The worth uv `appy marridge `ere below,
They`d swap their bank-books for a wife," sez I.
Sez Peter Begg, "Well! Be the - Hokey - Fly!"
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