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C J Dennis - The Straight Griffin
Work rating: Low

"`Eroes? Orright. You `ave it `ow yeh like.
   Throw up yer little `at an` come the glad;
But not too much `Three-`Earty-Cheers` fer Mike;
   There`s other things that `e`ll be wantin` bad.
The boys won`t `ave them kid-stakes on their mind
Wivout there`s somethin` solider be`ind."

Now that`s the dinkum oil frum Ginger Mick,
   In `orspital, somew`ere be`ind the front;
Plugged in the neck, an` lately pretty sick,
   But now right on the converlescent stunt.
"I`m on the mend," `e writes, "an` nearly doo
To come the `ero act agen - Scene two."

I`d sent some papers, knowin` `ow time drags
   Wiv blokes in blankits, waitin` fer a cure.
"An` `Struth!" Mick writes, "the way they et them rags
   Yeh`d think that they`d bin weaned on litrachure.
They wrestled thro` frum `Births` to `Lost and Found`;
They even give the Leaders `arf a round."

Mick spent a bonzer day propped up in bed,
   Soothin` `is soul wiv ev`ry sportin` page;
But in the football noos the things `e read
   Near sent `im orf `is top wiv `oly rage;
The way `is team `as mucked it earned `is curse;
But `e jist swallered it - becos uv nurse.

An` then this `eadline `it `im wiv bokays;
   "Australian Heroes!" is the song it makes.
Mick reads the boys them ringin` words o` praise;
   But they jist grins a bit an` sez "Kid stakes!"
Sez Mick to nurse, "You tumble wot I am?
A bloomin` little `ero.  Pass the jam!"

Mick don`t say much uv nurse; but `tween the lines -
   (`Im bein` not too strong on gushin` speech) -
I seem to see some tell-tale sort o` signs.
   Sez `e, "Me nurse-girl is a bonzer peach,"
An` then `e `as a line: "`Er sad, sweet look."
`Struth!  Ginger must `a` got it frum a book.

Say, I can see ole Ginger, plain as plain,
   Purrin` to feel the touch u`v `er cool `and,
Grinnin` a bit to kid `is wound don`t pain,
   An` yappin` tork she don`t `arf understand,
That makes `er wonder if, back where she lives,
They`re all reel men be`ind them ugly chivs.

But that`s orright.  Ole Ginger ain`t no flirt.
   "You tell my Rose," `e writes, "she`s still the sweet.
An` if Long Jim gits rnessin` round that skirt,
   When I come back I`ll do `im up a treat.
Tell `im, if all me arms an` legs is lame
I`ll bite the blighter if `e comes that game!"

There`s jealousy!  But Ginger needn`t fret.
   Rose is fer `im, an` Jim ain`t on `er card;
An` since she spragged `im last time that they met -
   Jim ain`t inlisted - but `e`s thinkin` `ard.
Mick wus `er `ero long before the war,
An` now `e`s sort o` chalked a double score.

That`s all Sir Garneo.  But Mick, `e`s vowed
   This "`Ail the `Ero" stunt gits on `is nerves,
An` makes `im peevish; tho` `e owns `is crowd
   Can mop up all the praises they deserves.
"But don`t yeh spread the `ero on too thick
If it`s exhaustin` yeh," sez Ginger Mick.

"We ain`t got no objections to the cheers;
   We`re good an` tough, an` we can stand the noise,
But three `oorays and five or six long beers
   An` loud remarks about `Our Gallant Boys`
Sounds kind o` weak - if you`ll ixcuse the word
Beside the fightin` sounds we`ve lately `eard.

"If you`ll fergive our blushes, we can stand
   The `earty cheerin` an` the songs o` praise.
The loud `Osannas uv our native land
   Makes us feel good an` glad in many ways.
An` later, when we land back in a mob,
Per`aps we might be arstin` fer a job.

"I`d `ate," sez Mick, "to `ave you think us rude,
   Or take these few remarks as reel bad taste;
`Twould `urt to `ave it seem ingratichude,
   Wiv all them `earty praises gone to waste.
We`ll take yer word fer it, an` jist remark
This `ero racket is a reel good lark.

"Once, when they caught me toppin` off a John,
   The Bench wus stern, an` torked uv dirty work;
But, `Struth! it`s bonzer `ow me fame`s come on
   Since when I took to toppin` off the Turk.
So, if it pleases, shout yer loud `Bravoes,`
An` later - don`t fergit there`s me, an` Rose."

So Ginger writes.  I gives it word fer word;
   An` if it ain`t the nice perlite reply
That nice, perlite old gents would like to`ve `eard
   `0o`ve been `ip-`ippin` `im up to the sky -
Well, I dunno, I s`pose `e`s gotter learn
It`s rude fer `im to speak out uv `is turn.

`Eroes. It sounds a bit uv reel orl-right -
   "Our Gallant `Eroes uv Gallipoli."
But Ginger, when `e`s thinkin` there at night,
   Uv Rose, an` wot their luck is like to bbe
After the echo dies uv all this praise,
Well - `e ain`t dazzled wiv three loud `oorays.
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