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C J Dennis - Over the Fence
Work rating: Low

`Taint my idea uv argument to call a man a fool,
An` I ain`t lookin` round for bricks to `eave at ole man Poole;
  But when `e gets disputin` `e`s inclined to lose `is `ead.
  It ain`t so much `is choice uv words as `ow the words is said.

`E`s sich a coot for takin` sides, as I sez to Doreen.
Sez she, "`Ow can `e, by `imself?" Wotever that may mean.
  My wife sez little things sometimes that nearly git me riled.
  I knoo she meant more than she said be that soft way she smiled.

Today, when I was `arrowin`, Poole come down to the fence
To get the loan uv my long spade; an` uses that pretence
  To `ave a bit uv friendly talk, an` one word leads to more,
  As is the way with ole man Poole, as I`ve remarked before.

The spade reminds `im `ow `e done some diggin` in `is day,
An` diggin` brings the talk to earth, an` earth leads on to clay,
  Then clay quite natural reminds a thinkin` bloke uv bricks,
  An` mortar brings up mud, an` then, uv course it`s politics.

Now Poole sticks be `is Party, an` I don`t deny `is right;
But when he starts abusin` mine `e`s lookin` for a fight.
  So I delivers good `ome truths about `is crowd, then Poole
  Wags `is ole beard across the fence an` tells me I`m a fool.

Now that`s the dizzy limit; so I lays aside the reins,
An` starts to prove `e`s storin` mud where most blokes keeps their brains.
  `E decorates `is answers, an` we`re goin` it ding-dong,
  When this returned bloke, Digger Smith, comes sauntering along.

Poole`s gripped the fence as though `e means to tear the rails in two,
An` eyes my waggin` finger like `e wants to `ave a chew.
  Then Digger Smith `e grins at Poole, an` then `e looks at me,
  An` sez, quite soft an` friendly-like, "Winnin` the war?" sez `e.

Now, Poole deserves it, an` I`m pleased the lad give `im that jolt.
`E goes fair mad in argument when once `e gets a holt.
  "Yeh make me sad," sez Digger Smith; "the both uv you," sez `e.
  "The both uv us! Gawstruth!" sez I. "You ain`t includin` me?"

"Well, it takes two to make a row," sez little Digger Smith.
"A bloke can`t argue `less `e `as a bloke to argue with.
  I`ve come `ome from a dinkum scap to find this land uv light
  Is chasin` its own tail around an` callin` it a fight.

"We`ve seen a thing or two, us blokes `oo`ve fought on many fronts;
An` we`ve `ad time to think a bit between the fightin` stunts,
  We`ve seen big things, an` thought big things, an` all the silly fuss,
  That used to get us rattled once, seems very small to us.

"An` when a bloke`s fought for a land an` gets laid on the shelf
It pains `im to come `ome and find it scrappin` with itself;
  An` scrappin` all for nothin`, or for things that look so small -
  To us, `oo`ve been in bigger things, they don`t seem reel at all.

"P`r`aps we `ave some skite knocked out, an` p`r`aps we see more clear,
But seems to us there`s plenty cleanin` up to do round `ere.
  We`ve learnt a little thing or two, an` we `ave unlearnt `eaps,
  An` silly partisans, with us, is counted out for keeps.

"This takin` sides jist for the sake uv takin` sides - Aw, `Struth!
I used to do them things one time, back in me foolish youth.
  Out There, when I remembered things, I`ve kicked meself reel good.
  In football days I barracked once red `ot for Collin`wood.

"I didn`t want to see a game, nor see no justice done.
It never mattered wot occurred as long as my side won.
  The other side was narks an` cows an` rotters to a man;
  But mine was all reel bonzer chaps. I was a partisan.

"It might sound like swelled-`ead," sez Smith. "But show me, if you can."…
"`Old `ard," sez Poole. "Jist tell me this: wot is a partisan?"
  Then Digger Smith starts to ixplain; Poole interrupts straight out;
  An` I wades in to give my views, an` `as to nearly shout.

We battles on for one good hour. My team sleeps where it stands;
An` Poole `as tossed the spade away to talk with both `is `ands.
  An` Smith `as dropped the maul `e `ad. Then I looks round to see
  Doreen quite close. She smiles at us. "Winnin` the war?" sez she.
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