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C J Dennis - Beef Tea
Work rating: Low

She never nagged; she never said no word; 
But sat an` looked at me an` never stirred. 
  I could `a` bluffed it out if she `ad been 
Fair narked, an` let me `ave it wiv `er tongue; 
It silence told me `ow `er `eart wus wrung. 
      Poor `urt Doreen!
Gorstruth! I`d sooner fight wiv fifty men
Than git one look like that frum `er agen!

She never moved; she never spoke no word;
That `urt look in `er eyes, like some scared bird: 
  " `Ere is the man I loved," it seemed to say.
"`E`s mine, this crawlin` thing, an` I`m `is wife;
Tied up fer good; an` orl me joy in life
      Is chucked away!"
If she `ad bashed me I`d `a` felt no `urt!
But `ere she treats me like—like I wus dirt.

`Ow is a man to guard agen that look?
Fer other wimmin, when the`r blokes go crook,
  An` lobs `ome wiv the wages uv a jag,
They smashes things an` carries on a treat
An` `owls an` scolds an` wakes the bloomin` street
      Wiv noisy mag.
But `er—she never speaks; she never stirs . . .
I drops me bundle . . . An` the game is `ers.

Jist two months wed! Eight weeks uv married bliss 
Wiv my Doreen, an` now it`s come to this!
  Wot wus I thinkin` uv? Gawd! I ain`t fit 
To kiss the place `er little feet `as been! 
`Er that I called me wife, me own Doreen! 
      Fond dreams `as flit; 
Love`s done a bunk, an` joy is up the pole; 
An` shame an` sorrer`s roostin` in me soul.

`Twus orl becors uv Ginger Mick—the cow! 
(I wish`t I `ad `im `ere to deal wiv now!
  I`d pass `im one, I would! `E ain`t no man!) 
I meets `im Choosdee ev`nin` up the town. 
"Wot O," `e chips me. "Kin yeh keep one down?" 
      I sez I can. 
We `as a couple; then meets three er four 
Flash coves I useter know, an` `as some more.

"`Ow are yeh on a little gamble, Kid?" 
Sez Ginger Mick. "Lars` night I`m on four quid.
  Come `round an` try yer luck at Steeny`s school.
"No," sez me conscience. Then I thinks, `Why not? 
An` buy `er presents if I wins a pot? 
      A blazin` fool 
I wus. Fer `arf a mo` I `as a fight; 
Then conscience skies the wipe . . . Sez I "Orright."

Ten minutes later I was back once more,
Kip in me `and, on Steeny Isaac`s floor,
  Me luck was in an` I wus `eadin` good. 
Yes, back agen amongst the same old crew! 
An` orl the time down in me `eart I knew 
      I never should . . . 
Nex` thing I knows it`s after two o`clock — 
Two in the morning! An` I`ve done me block!

"Wot odds?" I thinks. "I`m in fer it orright." 
An` so I stops an` gambles orl the night;
  An` bribes me conscience wiv the gilt I wins. 
But when I comes out in the cold, `ard dawn 
I know I`ve crooled me pitch; me soul`s in pawn. 
      My flamin` sins
They `its me in a `eap right where I live; 
Fer I `ave broke the solim vow I give.

She never magged; she never said no word. 
An` when I speaks, it seems she never `eard.
  I could `a` sung a nim, I feels so gay!
If she `ad only roused I might `a` smiled. 
She jist seems `urt an` crushed; not even riled. 
      I turns away, 
An` yanks me carkis out into the yard, 
Like some whipped pup; an` kicks meself reel `ard.

An` then, I sneaks to bed, an` feels dead crook.
Fer golden quids I couldn`t face that look —
  That trouble in the eyes uv my Doreen.
Aw, strike! Wot made me go an` do this thing?
I feel jist like a chewed up bit of string,
      An` rotten mean!
Fer `arf an hour I lies there feelin` cheap;
An` then I s`pose, I muster fell asleep….

" `Ere, Kid, drink this" . . . I wakes, an` lifts me `ead, 
An` sees `er standin` there beside the bed; 
  A basin in `er `ands; an` in `er eyes — 
(Eyes that wiv unshed tears is shinin` wet) — 
The sorter look I never shall ferget, 
      Until I dies. 
" `Ere, Kid, drink this," she sez, an` smiles at me. 
I looks — an` spare me days! It was beef tea!

Beef tea! She treats me like a hinvaleed! 
Me! that `as caused `er lovin` `eart to bleed.
  It `urts me worse than maggin` fer a week! 
`Er! `oo `ad right to turn dead sour on me, 
Fergives like that, an` feeds me wiv beef tea . . . 
      I tries to speak; 
An` then — I ain`t ashamed o` wot I did —
I `ides me face . . . an` blubbers like a kid.
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