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C J Dennis - The I`d like to be........ series
Work rating: Low

The Sailor
I`d like to be a sailor - a sailor bold and bluff -
Calling out, "Ship ahoy!" in manly tones and gruff.
I`d learn to box the compass, and to reef and tack and luff;
I`d sniff and sniff the briny breeze and never get enough.
Perhaps I`d chew tobacco, or an old black pipe I`d puff,
   But I wouldn`t be a sailor if…
      The sea was very rough.
         Would you?

The Porter
I`d like to be a porter, and always on the run,
Calling out, "Stand aside!" and asking leave of none.
Shoving trucks on people`s toes, and having splendid fun,
Slamming all the carriage doors and locking every one -
And, when they asked to be let in, I`d say, "It can`t be done."
   But I wouldn`t be a porter if…
      The luggage weighed a ton.
         Would you?

The Pieman
I`d like to be a Pieman, and ring a little bell,
Calling out, "Hot pies! Hot pies to sell!"
Apple-pies and Meat-pies, Cherry-pies as well,
Lots and lots and lots of pies - more than you can tell.
Big, rich Pork-pies! Oh, the lovely smell!
   But I wouldn`t be a Pieman if…
      I wasn`t very well.
         Would you?

The Barber
I`d like to be a barber, and learn to shave and clip,
Calling out, "Next please! and pocketing my tip."
All day I`d hear my scissors going, "Snip, Snip, Snip;"
I`d lather people`s faces, and their noses I would grip
While I shaved most carefully along the upper lip.
   But I wouldn`t be a barber if…
      The razor was to slip.
         Would you?

The Teacher
I`d like to be a teacher, and have a clever brain,
Calling out, "Attention, please!" and "Must I speak in vain?"
I`d be quite strict with boys and girls whose minds I had to train,
And all the books and maps and things I`d carefully explain;
I`d make then learn the dates of kings, and all the capes of Spain;
   But I wouldn`t be a teacher if…
      I couldn`t use the cane.
         Would you?

The Postman
I`d like to be a postman, and walk along the street,
Calling out, "Good Morning, Sir," to gentlemen I meet,
Ringing every door-bell all along my beat,
In my cap and uniform so very nice and neat.
Perhaps I`d have a parasol in case of rain or heat;
   But I wouldn`t be a postman if…
      The walking hurt my feet.
         Would you?

The Baker
I`d like to be a baker, and come when morning breaks,
Calling out, "Beeay-ko!" (that`s the sound he makes) -
Riding in a rattle-cart that jogs and jolts and shakes,
Selling all the sweetest things a baker ever bakes;
Currant-buns and brandy-snaps, pastry all in flakes;
   But I wouldn`t be a baker if…
      I couldn`t eat the cakes.
         Would you?
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