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Jonathan Swift - Lady Acheson Weary Of The DeanJonathan Swift - Lady Acheson Weary Of The Dean
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The Dean would visit Market-hill; Our invitation was but slight; I said—why—Let him if he will, And so I bid Sir Arthur write. His manners would not let him wait, Lest we should think ourselves neglected, And so we saw him at our gate Three days before he was expected. After a week, a month, a quarter, And day succeeding after day, Says not a word of his departure Though not a soul would have him stay. I’ve said enough to make him blush Methinks, or else the Devil’s in’t, But he cares not for it a rush, Nor for my life will take the hint. But you, My Life, must let him know, In civil language, if he stays How deep and foul the roads may grow, And that he may command the chaise. Or you may say—my wife intends, Though I should be exceeding proud, This winter to invite some friends, And Sir, I know you hate a crowd. Or, Mr. Dean—I should with joy Beg you would here continue still, But we must go to Aghnaclay, Or Mr. Moor will take it ill. The house accounts are daily rising So much his stay does swell the bills; My dearest Life, it is surprising How much he eats, how much he swills. His brace of puppies how they stuff, And they must have three meals a day, Yet never think they get enough; His horses too eat all our hay. Oh! if I could, how I would maul His tallow face and wainscot paws, His beetle-brows and eyes of wall, And make him soon give up the cause. May I be every moment chid With Skinny, Honey, Snip, and Lean, Oh! that I could but once be rid Of that insulting tyrant Dean.
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