---

Jonathan Swift - Phillis, Or, the Progress of Love
Work rating: Low

Desponding Phillis was endu`d 
With ev`ry Talent of a Prude, 
She trembled when a Man drew near; 
Salute her, and she turn`d her Ear: 
If o`er against her you were plac`t 
She durst not look above your Wa[i]st; 
She`d rather take you to her Bed 
Than let you see her dress her Head; 
In Church you heard her thro` the Crowd 
Repeat the Absolution loud; 
In Church, secure behind her Fan 
She durst behold that Monster, Man: 
There practic`d how to place her Head, 
And bit her Lips to make them red: 
Or on the Matt devoutly kneeling 
Would lift her Eyes up to the Ceeling, 
And heave her Bosom unaware 
For neighb`ring Beaux to see it bare. 
At length a lucky Lover came, 
And found Admittance to the Dame. 
Suppose all Partys now agreed, 
The Writings drawn, the Lawyer fee`d, 
The Vicar and the Ring bespoke: 
Guess how could such a Match be broke. 
See then what Mortals place their Bliss in! 
Next morn betimes the Bride was missing, 
The Mother scream`d, the Father chid, 
Where can this idle Wench be hid? 
No news of Phil. The Bridegroom came, 
And thought his Bride had sculk`t for shame, 
Because her Father us`d to say 
The Girl had such a Bashfull way. 
Now John the Butler must be sent 
To learn the Road that Phillis went; 
The Groom was wisht to saddle Crop, 
For John must neither light nor stop; 
But find her where so`er she fled, 
And bring her back, alive or dead. 
See here again the Dev`l to do; 
For truly John was missing too: 
The Horse and Pillion both were gone 
Phillis, it seems, was fled with John. 
Old Madam who went up to find 
What Papers Phil had left behind, 
A Letter on the Toylet sees 
To my much honor`d Father; These: 
(`Tis always done, Romances tell us, 
When Daughters run away with Fellows) 
Fill`d with the choicest common-places, 
By others us`d in the like Cases. 
That, long ago a Fortune-teller 
Exactly said what now befell her, 
And in a Glass had made her see 
A serving-Man of low Degree: 
It was her Fate; must be forgiven; 
For Marriages were made in Heaven: 
His Pardon begg`d, but to be plain, 
She`d do`t if `twere to do again. 
Thank God, `twas neither Shame nor Sin, 
For John was come of honest Kin: 
Love never thinks of Rich and Poor, 
She`d beg with John from Door to Door: 
Forgive her, if it be a Crime, 
She`ll never do`t another Time, 
She ne`r before in all her Life 
Once disobey`d him, Maid nor Wife. 
One Argument she summ`d up all in, 
The Thing was done and past recalling: 
And therefore hop`d she should recover 
His Favor, when his Passion`s over. 
She valued not what others thought her; 
And was—His most obedient Daughter. 
Fair Maidens all attend the Muse 
Who now the wandring Pair pursues: 
Away they rose in homely Sort 
Their Journy long, their Money Short; 
The loving Couple well bemir`d, 
The Horse and both the Riders tir`d: 
Their Vittells bad, their Lodging worse, 
Phil cry`d, and John began to curse; 
Phil wish`t, that she had strained a Limb 
When first she ventur`d out with him. 
John wish`t, that he had broke a Leg 
When first for her he quitted Peg. 
But what Adventures more befell `em 
The Muse hath now no time to tell `em. 
How Jonny wheadled, threatned, fawnd, 
Till Phillis all her Trinkets pawn`d: 
How oft she broke her marriage Vows 
In kindness to maintain her Spouse; 
Till Swains unwholsome spoyled the Trade, 
For now the Surgeon must be paid; 
To whom those Perquisites are gone 
In Christian Justice due to John. 
When Food and Rayment now grew scarce 
Fate put a Period to the Farce; 
And with exact Poetic Justice: 
For John is Landlord, Phillis Hostess; 
They keep at Stains the old blue Boar, 
Are Cat and Dog, and Rogue and Whore.
Source
The script ran 0.002 seconds.