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Ben Jonson - On Don Surly
Work rating: Low

Don Surly, to aspire the glorious name
  Of a great man, and to be thought the same,
Makes serious use of all great trade he know.
  He speaks to men with a Rhinocerotes` nose,
Which he thinks great; and so reads verses too,
  And that is done as he saw great men do.
He has timpanies of business in his face,
  And can forget men`s names with a great grace.
He will both argue and discourse in oaths,
  Both which are great; and laugh at ill-made clothes—
That`s greater yet—to cry his own up neat.
  He doth, at meals, alone his pheasant eat,
Which is main greatness; and at his still board
  He drinks to no man; that`s, too, like a lord.
He keeps another`s wife, which is a spice
  Of solemn greatness. And he dares, at dice,
Blaspheme God greatly, or some poor hind beat
  That breathes in his dog`s way; and this is great.
Nay more, for greatness` sake, he will be one
  May hear my epigrams, but like of none,
Surly, use other arts; these only can
  Style thee a most great fool, but no great man.
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