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Robinson Jeffers - Roan StallionRobinson Jeffers - Roan Stallion
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The dog barked; then the woman stood in the doorway, and hearing iron strike stone down the steep road Covered her head with a black shawl and entered the light rain; she stood at the turn of the road. A nobly formed woman; erect and strong as a new tower; the features stolid and dark But sculptured into a strong grace; straight nose with a high bridge, firm and wide eyes, full chin, Red lips; she was only a fourth part Indian; a Scottish sailor had planted her in young native earth, Spanish and Indian, twenty-one years before. He had named her California when she was born; That was her name; and had gone north.                                                               She heard the hooves and wheels come nearer, up the steep road. The buckskin mare, leaning against the breastpiece, plodded into sight round the wet bank. The pale face of the driver followed; the burnt-out eyes; they had fortune in them. He sat twisted On the seat of the old buggy, leading a second horse by a long halter, a roan, a big one, That stepped daintily; by the swell of the neck, a stallion. "What have you got, Johnny?" "Maskerel`s stallion. Mine now. I won him last night, I had very good luck." He was quite drunk, "They bring their mares up here now. I keep this fellow. I got money besides, but I`ll not show you." "Did you buy something, Johnny, For our Christine? Christmas comes in two days, Johnny." "By God, forgot," he answered laughing. "Don`t tell Christine it`s Christmas; after while I get her something, maybe." But California: "I shared your luck when you lost: you lost me once, Johnny, remember? Tom Dell had me two nights Here in the house: other times we`ve gone hungry: now that you`ve won, Christine will have her Christmas. We share your luck, Johnny. You give me money, I go down to Monterey to-morrow, Buy presents for Christine, come back in the evening. Next day Christmas." "You have wet ride," he answered Giggling. "Here money. Five dollar; ten; twelve dollar. You buy two bottles of rye whiskey for Johnny." A11 right. I go to-morrow."                                               He was an outcast Hollander; not old, but shriveled with bad living. The child Christine inherited from his race blue eyes, from his life a wizened forehead; she watched From the house-door her father lurch out of the buggy and lead with due respect the stallion To the new corral, the strong one; leaving the wearily breathing buckskin mare to his wife to unharness. Storm in the night; the rain on the thin shakes of the roof like the ocean on rock streamed battering; once thunder Walked down the narrow canyon into Carmel valley and wore away westward; Christine was wakeful With fears and wonders; her father lay too deep for storm to touch him.                 Dawn comes late in the year`s dark, Later into the crack of a canyon under redwoods; and California slipped from bed An hour before it; the buckskin would be tired; there was a little barley, and why should Johnny Feed all the barley to his stallion? That is what he would do. She tip-toed out of the room. Leaving her clothes, he`d waken if she waited to put them on, and passed from the door of the house Into the dark of the rain; the big black drops were cold through the thin shift, but the wet earth Pleasant under her naked feet. There was a pleasant smell in the stable; and moving softly, Touching things gently with the supple bend of the unclothed body, was pleasant. She found a box, Filled it with sweet dry barley and took it down to the old corral. The little mare sighed deeply At the rail in the wet darkness; and California returning between two redwoods up to the house Heard the happy jaws grinding the grain. Johnny could mind the pigs and chickens. Christine called to her When she entered the house, but slept again under her hand. She laid the wet night-dress on a chair-back And stole into the bedroom to get her clothes. A plank creaked, and he wakened. She stood motionless Hearing him stir in the bed. When he was quiet she stooped after her shoes, and he said softly, "What are you doing? Come back to bed." "It`s late, I`m going to Monterey, I must hitch up." "You come to bed first. I been away three days. I give you money, I take back the money And what you do in town then?" she sighed sharply and came to the bed.             He reaching his hands from it Felt the cool curve and firmness of her flank, and half rising caught her by the long wet hair. She endured, and to hasten the act she feigned desire; she had not for long, except in dream, felt it. Yesterday`s drunkenness made him sluggish and exacting; she saw, turning her head sadly, The windows were bright gray with dawn; he embraced her still, stopping to talk about the stallion. At length she was permitted to put on her clothes. Clear daylight over the steep hills; Gray-shining cloud over the tops of the redwoods; the winter stream sang loud; the wheels of the buggy Slipped m deep slime, ground on washed stones at the road-edge. Down the hill the wrinkled river smothered the ford. You must keep to the bed of stones: she knew the way by willow and alder: the buckskin halted mid-stream, Shuddering, the water her own color washing up to the traces; but California, drawing up Her feet out of the whirl onto the seat of the buggy swung the whip over the yellow water And drove to the road.                                     All morning the clouds were racing northward like a river. At noon they thickened. When California faced the southwind home from Monterey it was heavy with level rainfall. She looked seaward from the foot of the valley; red rays cried sunset from a trumpet of streaming Cloud over Lobos, the southwest Occident of the solstice. Twilight came soon, but the tired mare Feared the road more than the whip. Mile after mile of slow gray twilight.                       Then, quite suddenly, darkness. "Christine will be asleep. It is Christmas Eve. The ford. That hour of daylight wasted this morning!" She could see nothing; she let the reins lie on the dashboard and knew at length by the cramp of the wheels And the pitch down, they had reached it. Noise of wheels on stones, plashing of hooves in water; a world Of sounds; no sight; the gentle thunder of water; the mare snorting, dipping her head, one knew, To look for footing, in the blackness, under the stream. The hushing and creaking of the sea-wind In the passion of invisible willows.                                                     The mare stood still; the woman shouted to her; spared whip, For a false leap would lose the track of the ford. She stood. "The baby`s things," thought California, "Under the seat: the water will come over the floor"; and rising in the midst of the water She tilted the seat; fetched up the doll, the painted wooden chickens, the woolly bear, the book Of many pictures, the box of sweets: she brought them all from under the seat and stored them, trembling, Under her clothes, about the breasts, under the arms; the corners of the cardboard boxes Cut into the soft flesh; but with a piece of rope for a girdle and wound about the shoulders All was made fast. The mare stood still as if asleep in the midst of the water. Then California Reached out a hand over the stream and fingered her rump; the solid wet convexity of it Shook like the beat of a great heart. "What are you waiting for?" But the feel of the animal surface Had wakened a dream, obscured real danger with a dream of danger. "What for? For the water-stallion To break out of the stream, that is what the rump strains for, him to come up flinging foam sidewise, Fore-hooves in air, crush me and the rig and curl over his woman." She flung out with the whip then, The mare plunged forward. The buggy drifted sidelong: was she off ground? Swimming? No: by the splashes. The driver, a mere prehensile instinct, clung to the side-irons of the seat and felt the force But not the coldness of the water, curling over her knees, breaking up to the waist Over her body. They`d turned. The mare had turned up stream and was wallowing back into shoal water. Then California dropped her forehead to her knees, having seen nothing, feeling a danger, And felt the brute weight of a branch of alder, the pendulous light leaves brush her bent neck Like a child`s fingers. The mare burst out of water and stopped on the slope to the ford. The woman climbed down Between the wheels and went to her head. "Poor Dora," she called her by her name, "there, Dora. Quietly," And led her around, there was room to turn on the margin, the head to the gentle thunder of the water. She crawled on hands and knees, felt for the ruts, and shifted the wheels into them. "You can see, Dora. I can`t. But this time you`ll go through it." She climbed into the seat and shouted angrily. The mare Stopped, her two forefeet in the water. She touched with the whip. The mare plodded ahead and halted. Then California thought of prayer: "Dear little Jesus, Dear baby Jesus born to-night, your head was shining Like silver candles. I`ve got a baby too, only a girl. You had light wherever you walked. Dear baby Jesus give me light." Light streamed: rose, gold, rich purple, hiding the ford like a curtain. The gentle thunder of water was a noise of wing-feathers, the fans of paradise lifting softly. The child afloat on radiance had a baby face, but the angels had birds` heads, hawks` heads, Bending over the baby, weaving a web of wings about him. He held in the small fat hand A little snake with golden eyes, and California could see clearly on the under radiance The mare`s pricked ears, a sharp black fork against the shining light-fall. But it dropped; the light of heaven Frightened poor Dora. She backed; swung up the water, And nearly oversetting the buggy turned and scrambled backward; the iron wheel-tires rang on boulders. Then California weeping climbed between the wheels. Her wet clothes and the toys packed under Dragged her down with their weight; she stripped off cloak and dress and laid the baby`s things in the buggy; Brought Johnny`s whiskey out from under the seat; wrapped all in the dress, bottles and toys, and tied them Into a bundle that would sling over her back. She unharnessed the mare, hurting her fingers Against the swollen straps and the wet buckles. She tied the pack over her shoulders, the cords Crossing her breasts, and mounted. She drew up her shift about her waist and knotted it, naked thighs Clutching the sides of the mare, bare flesh to the wet withers, and caught the mane with her right hand, The looped-up bridle-reins in the other. "Dora, the baby gives you light." The blinding radiance Hovered the ford. "Sweet baby Jesus give us light." Cataracts of light and Latin singing Fell through the willows; the mare snorted and reared: the roar and thunder of the invisible water; The night shaking open like a flag, shot with the flashes; the baby face hovering; the water Beating over her shoes and stockings up to the bare thighs; and over them, like a beast Lapping her belly; the wriggle and pitch of the mare swimming; the drift, the sucking water; the blinding Light above and behind with not a gleam before, in the throat of darkness; the shock of the fore-hooves Striking bottom, the struggle and surging lift of the haunches. She felt the water streaming off her From the shoulders down; heard the great strain and sob of the mare`s breathing, heard the horseshoes grind on gravel. When California came home the dog at the door snuffed at her without barking; Christine and Johnny Both were asleep; she did not sleep for hours, but kindled fire and knelt patiently over it, Shaping and drying the dear-bought gifts for Christmas morning. She hated (she thought) the proud-necked stallion. He`d lean the big twin masses of his breast on the rail, his redbrown eyes flash the white crescents, She admired him then, she hated him for his uselessness, serving nothing But Johnny`s vanity. Horses were too cheap to breed. She thought, if he could range in freedom, Shaking the red-roan mane for a flag on the bare hills.                                                                                       A man brought up a mare in April; Then California, though she wanted to watch, stayed with Christine indoors. When the child fretted The mother told her once more about the miracle of the ford; her prayer to the little Jesus The Christmas Eve when she was bringing the gifts home; the appearance, the lights, the Latin singing, The thunder of wing-feathers and water, the shining child, the cataracts of splendor down the darkness. "A little baby," Christine asked, "the God is a baby?" "The child of God. That was his birthday. His mother was named Mary: we pray to her too: God came to her. He was not the child of a man Like you or me. God was his father: she was the stallion`s wife- what did I say God`s wife," She said with a cry, lifting Christine aside, pacing the planks of the floor. "She is called more blessed Than any woman. She was so good, she was more loved." "Did God live near her house?" "He lives Up high, over the stars; he ranges on the bare blue hill of the sky." In her mind a picture Flashed, of the red-roan mane shaken out for a flag on the bare hills, and she said quickly, "He`s more Like a great man holding the sun in his hand." Her mind giving her words the lie, "But no one Knows, only the shining and the power. The power, the terror, the burning fire covered her over . . ." "Was she burnt up, mother?" "She was so good and lovely, she was the mother of the little Jesus. If you are good nothing will hurt you." "What did she think?" "She loved, she was not afraid of the hooves Hands that had made the hills and sun and moon, and the sea and the great redwoods, the terrible strength, She gave herself without thinking." "You only saw the baby, mother?" "Yes, and the angels about him, The great wild shining over the black river." Three times she had walked to the door, three times returned, And now the hand that had thrice hung on the knob, full of prevented action, twisted the cloth Of the child`s dress that she had been mending. "Oh, oh, I`ve torn it." She struck at the child and then embraced her Fiercely, the small blonde sickly body.                                                             Johnny came in, his face reddened as if he had stood Near fire, his eyes triumphing. "Finished," he said, and looked with malice at Christine. "I go Down valley with Jim Carrier; owes me five dollar, fifteen I charge him, he brought ten in his pocket. Has grapes on the ranch, maybe I take a barrel red wine instead of money. Be back to-morrow. To-morrow night I tell you-Eh, Jim," he laughed over his shoulder, "I say to-morrow evening I show her how the red fellow act, the big fellow. When I come home." She answered nothing, but stood In front of the door, holding the little hand of her daughter, in the path of sun between the redwoods, While Johnny tied the buckskin mare behind Carrier`s buggy, and bringing saddle and bridle tossed them Under the seat. Jim Carrier`s mare, the bay, stood with drooped head and started slowly, the men Laughing and shouting at her; their voices could be heard down the steep road, after the noise Of the iron-hooped wheels died from the stone. Then one might hear the hush of the wind in the tall redwoods, The tinkle of the April brook, deep in its hollow.                                                                             Humanity is the start of the race; I say Humanity is the mould to break away from, the crust to break through, the coal to break into fire, The atom to be split.                                 Tragedy that breaks man`s face and a white fire flies out of it; vision that fools him Out of his limits, desire that fools him out of his limits, unnatural crime, inhuman science, Slit eyes in the mask; wild loves that leap over the walls of nature, the wild fcnce-vaulter science, Useless intelligence of far stars, dim knowledge of the spinning demons that make an atom, These break, these pierce, these deify, praising their God shrilly with fierce voices: not in a man`s shape He approves the praise, he that walks lightning-naked on die Pacific, that laces the suns with planets, The heart of the atom with electrons: what is humanity in this cosmos? For him, the last Least taint of a trace in the dregs of the solution; for itself, the mould to break away from, the coal To break into fire, the atom to be split.                                                           After the child slept, after the leopard-footed evening Had glided oceanward, California turned the lamp to its least flame and glided from the house. She moved sighing, like a loose fire, backward and forward on the smooth ground by the door. She heard the night-wind that draws down the valley like the draught in a flue under clear weather Whisper and toss in the tall redwoods; she heard the tinkle of the April brook deep in its hollow. Cooled by the night the odors that the horses had left behind were in her nostrils; the night Whitened up the bare hill; a drift of coyotes by the river cried bitterly against moonrise; Then California ran to the old corral, the empty one where they kept the buckskin mare, And leaned, and bruised her breasts on the rail, feeling the sky whiten. When the moon stood over the hill She stole to the house. The child breathed quietly. Herself: to sleep? She had seen Christ in the night at Christmas. The hills were shining open to the enormous night of the April moon: empty and empty, The vast round backs of the bare hills? If one should ride up high might not the Father himself Be seen brooding His night, cross-legged, chin in hand, squatting on the last dome? More likely Leaping the hills, shaking the red-roan mane for a flag on the bare hills. She blew out the lamp. Every fiber of flesh trembled with faintness when she came to the door; strength lacked, to wander Afoot into the shining of the hill, high enough, high enough . . . the hateful face of a man had taken The strength that might have served her, the corral was empty. The dog followed her, she caught him by the collar, Dragged him in fierce silence back to the door of the house, latched him inside.                                 It was like daylight Outdoors and she hastened without faltering down the footpath, through the dark fringe of twisted oak-brush, To the open place in a bay of the hill. The dark strength of the stallion had heard her coming; she heard him Blow the shining air out of his nostrils, she saw him in the white lake of moonlight Move like a lion along the timbers of the fence, shaking the nightfall Of the great mane; his fragrance came to her; she leaned on the fence; He drew away from it, the hooves making soft thunder in the trodden soil. Wild love had trodden it, his wrestling with the stranger, the shame of the day Had stamped it into mire and powder when the heavy fetlocks Strained the soft flanks. "Oh, if I could bear you! If I had the strength. O great God that came down to Mary, gently you came. But I will ride him Up into the hill, if he throws me, if he tramples me, is it not my desire To endure death?" She climbed the fence, pressing her body against the rail, shaking like fever, And dropped inside to the soft ground. He neither threatened her with his teeth nor fled from her coming, And lifting her hand gently to the upflung head she caught the strap of the headstall, That hung under the quivering chin. She unlooped the halter from the high strength of the neck And the arch the storm-cloud mane hung with live darkness. He stood; she crushed her breasts On the hard shoulder, an arm over the withers, the other under the mass of his throat, and murmuring Like a mountain dove, "If I could bear you." No way, no help, a gulf in nature. She murmured, "Come, We will run on the hill. O beautiful, O beautiful," and led him To the gate and flung the bars on the ground. He threw his head downward To snuff at the bars; and while he stood, she catching mane and withers with all sudden contracture And strength of her lithe body, leaped, clung hard, and was mounted. He had been ridden before; he did not Fight the weight but ran like a stone falling; Broke down the slope into the moon-glass of the stream, and flattened to his neck She felt the branches of a buckeye tree fly over her, saw the wall of the oak-scrub End her world: but he turned there, the matted branches Scraped her right knee, the great slant shoulders Laboring the hill-slope, up, up, the clear hill. Desire had died in her At the first rush, the falling like death, but now it revived, She feeling between her thighs the labor of the great engine, the running muscles, the hard swiftness, She riding the savage and exultant strength of the world. Having topped the thicket he turned eastward, Running less wildly; and now at length he felt the halter when she drew on it; she guided him upward; He stopped and grazed on the great arch and pride of the hill, the silent calvary. A dwarfish oakwood Climbed the other slope out of the dark of the unknown canyon beyond; the last wind-beaten bush of it Crawled up to the height, and California slipping from her mount tethered him to it. She stood then, Shaking. Enormous films of moonlight Trailed down from the height. Space, anxious whiteness, vastness. Distant beyond conception the shining ocean Lay light like a haze along the ledge and doubtful world`s end. Little vapors gleaming, and little Darknesses on the far chart underfoot symbolized wood and valley; but the air was the element, the moon- Saturate arcs and spires of the air.                                                       Here is solitude, here on the calvary, nothing conscious But the possible God and the cropped grass, no witness, no eye but that misformed one, the moon`s past fullness. Two figures on the shining hill, woman and stallion, she kneeling to him, brokenly adoring. He cropping the grass, shifting his hooves, or lifting the long head to gaze over the world, Tranquil and powerful. She prayed aloud, "O God, I am not good enough, O fear, O strength, I am draggled. Johnny and other men have had me, and O clean power! Here am I," she said, falling before him, And crawled to his hooves. She lay a long while, as if asleep, in reach of the fore-hooves, weeping. He avoided Her head and the prone body. He backed at first; but later plucked the grass that grew by her shoulder. The small dark head under his nostrils: a small round stone, that smelt human, black hair growing from it: The skull shut the light in: it was not possible for any eyes To know what throbbed and shone under the sutures of the skull, or a shell full of lightning Had scared the roan strength, and he`d have broken tether, screaming, and run for the valley.                                                       The atom bounds-breaking, Nucleus to sun, electrons to planets, with recognition Not praying, self-equaling, the whole to the whole, the microcosm Not entering nor accepting entrance, more equally, more utterly, more incredibly conjugate With the other extreme and greatness; passionately perceptive of identity. . . .                           The fire threw up figures And symbols meanwhile, racial myths formed and dissolved in it, the phantom rulers of humanity That without being are yet more real than what they are born of, and without shape, shape that which makes them: The nerves and the flesh go by shadowlike, the limbs and the lives shadowlike, these shadows remain, these shadows To whom temples, to whom churches, to whom labors and wars, visions and dreams are dedicate: Out of the fire in the small round stone that black moss covered, a crucified man writhed up in anguish; A woman covered by a huge beast in whose mane the stars were netted, sun and moon were his eyeballs, Smiled under the unendurable violation, her throat swollen with the storm and blood-flecks gleaming On the stretched lips; a womanno, a dark water, split by jets of lightning, and after a season What floated up out of the furrowed water, a boat, a fish, a fire-globe?               It had wings, the creature, And flew against the fountain of lightning, fell burnt out of the cloud back to the bottomless water . . . Figures and symbols, castlings of the fire, played in her brain; but the white fire was the essence, The burning in the small round shell of bone that black hair covered, that lay by the hooves on the hilltop. She rose at length, she unknotted the halter; she walked and led the stallion; two figures, woman and stallion, Came down the silent emptiness of the dome of the hill, under the cataract of the moonlight. The next night there was moon through cloud. Johnny had returned half drunk toward evening, and California Who had known him for years with neither love nor loathing to-night hating him had let the child Christine Play in the light of the lamp for hours after her bedtime; who fell asleep at length on the floor Beside the dog; then Johnny: "Put her to bed." She gathered the child against her breasts, she laid her In the next room, and covered her with a blanket. The window was white, the moon had risen. The mother Lay down by the child, but after a moment Johnny stood in the doorway. "Come drink." He had brought home Two jugs of wine slung from the saddle, part payment for the stallion`s service; a pitcher of it Was on the table, and California sadly came and emptied her glass. Whiskey, she thought, Would have erased him till to-morrow; the thin red wine. . . . "We have a good evening," he laughed, pouring it. "One glass yet then I show you what the red fellow did." She moving toward the house-door his eyes Followed her, the glass filled and the red juice ran over the table. When it struck the floor-planks He heard and looked. "Who stuck the pig?" he muttered stupidly, "here`s blood, here`s blood," and trailed his fingers In the red lake under the lamplight. While he was looking down the door creaked, she had slipped outdoors, And he, his mouth curving like a faun`s imagined the chase under the solemn redwoods, the panting And unresistant victim caught in a dark corner. He emptied the glass and went outdoors Into the dappled lanes of moonlight. No sound but the April brook`s. "Hey Bruno," he called, "find her. Bruno, go find her." The dog after a little understood and quested, the man following. When California crouching by an oak-bush above the house heard them come near she darted To the open slope and ran down hill. The dog barked at her heels, pleased with the game, and Johnny Followed in silence. She ran down to the new corral, she saw the stallion Move like a lion along the timbers of the fence, the dark arched neck shaking the nightfall Of the great mane; she threw herself prone and writhed under the bars, his hooves backing away from her Made muffled thunder in the soft soil. She stood in the midst of the corral, panting, but Johnny Paused at the fence. The dog ran under it, and seeing the stallion move, the woman standing quiet, Danced after the beast, with white-tooth feints and dashes. When Johnny saw the formidable dark strength Recoil from the dog, he climbed up over the fence. The child Christine waked when her mother left her And lay half dreaming, in the half-waking dream she saw the ocean come up out of the west And cover the world, she looked up through clear water at the tops of the redwoods. She heard the door creak And the house empty; her heart shook her body, sitting up on the bed, and she heard the dog And crept toward light, where it gleamed under the crack of the door. She opened the door, the room was empty, The table-top was a red lake under the lamplight. The color of it was terrible to her; She had seen the red juice drip from a coyote`s muzzle her father had shot one day in the hills And carried him home over the saddle: she looked at the rifle on the wall-rack: it was not moved: She ran to the door, the dog was barking and the moon was shining: she knew wine by the odor But the color frightened her, the empty house frightened her, she followed down hill in the white lane of moonlight The friendly noise of the dog. She saw in the big horse`s corral, on the level shoulder of the hill, Black on white, the dark strength of the beast, the dancing fury of the dog, and the two others. One fled, one followed; the big one charged, rearing; one fell under his fore-hooves. She heard her mother Scream: without thought she ran to the house, she dragged a chair past the red pool and climbed to the rifle, Got it down from the wall and lugged it somehow through the door and down the hillside, under the hard weight Sobbing. Her mother stood by the rails of the corral, she gave it to her. On the far side The dog flashed at the plunging stallion; in the midst of the space the man, slow-moving, like a hurt worm Crawling, dragged his body by inches toward the fence-line. Then California, resting the rifle On the top rail, without doubting, without hesitance, Aimed for the leaping body of the dog, and when it stood, fired. It snapped, rolled over, lay quiet. "O mother you`ve hit Bruno!" "I couldn`t see the sights in the moonlight!` she answered quietly. She stood And watched, resting the rifle-butt on the ground. The stallion wheeled, freed from his torment, the man Lurched up to his knees, wailing a thin and bitter bird`s cry, and the roan thunder Struck; hooves left nothing alive but teeth tore up the remnant. "O mother, shoot, shoot!" Yet California Stood carefully watching, till the beast having fed all his fury stretched neck to utmost, head high, And wrinkled back the upper lip from the teeth, yawning obscene disgust over not a man A smear on the moon-like earth: then California moved by some obscure human fidelity Lifted the rifle. Each separate nerve-cell of her brain flaming the stars fell from their places Crying in her mind: she fired three times before the haunches crumpled sidewise, the forelegs stiffening, And the beautiful strength settled to earth: she turned then on her little daughter the mask of a woman Who has killed God. The night-wind veering, the smell of the spilt wine drifted down hill from the house.
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