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Edward Lear - The Broom, the Shovel, the Poker and the Tongs
Work rating: Low

The Broom and the Shovel, the Poker and Tongs,
They all took a drive in the Park,
and they each sang a song, Ding-a-dong, Ding-a-dong,
Before they went back in the dark.
Mr Poker he sate quite upright in the coach,
Mr Tongs made a clatter and clash,
Miss Shovel was dressed all in black (with a brooch),
Mrs Broom was in blue (with a sash).
Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong!
And they all sang a song!

`O Shovely so lovely!` the Poker he sang,
`You have perfectly conquered my heart!
Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong! If you`re pleased with my song,
I will feed you with cold apple tart!
When you scrape up the coals with a delicate sound,
You enrapture my life with delight!
Your nose is so shiny! your head is so round!
And your shape is so slender and bright!
Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong!
Ain`t you pleased with my song?`

`Alas! Mrs Broom!` sighed the Tongs in his song,
`O is it because I`m so thin,
And my legs are so long - Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong!
That you don`t care about me a pin?
Ah! fairest of creatures, when sweeping the room,
Ah! why don`t you heed my complaint!
Must you needs be so cruel, you beautiful Broom,
Because you are covered with paint!
Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong!
You are certainly wrong!`

Mrs Broom and Miss Shovel together they sang,
`What nonsense you`re singing today!`
Said the Shovel, `I`ll certainly hit you a bang!`
Said the Broom, `And I`ll sweep you away!`
So the Coachman drove homeward as fast as he could,
Perceiving their anger with pain;
But they put on the kettle, and little by little,
They all became happy again.
Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong!
There`s an end of my song!
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