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Edward Lear - Nonsense Alphabet
Work rating: Low

A was an Area Arch
      Where washerwomen sat;
They made a lot of lovely starch
      To starch Papa`s cravat.


B was a Bottle blue,
      Which was not very small;
Papa he filled it full of beer,
      And then he drank it all.
	

C was Papa`s gray Cat,
      Who caught a squeaky Mouse
She pulled him by his twirly tail
      All about the house.
	

D was Papa`s white Duck,
      Who had a curly tail;
One day it ate a great fat frog,
      Besides a leetle snail.
 

E was a little Egg,
      Upon the breakfast table;
Papa came in and ate it up,
      As fast as he was able.

 
F was a little Fish.
   Cook in the river took it,
Papa said, `Cook! Cook! bring a dish!
   And, cook! be quick and cook it!`

 
G was Papa`s new Gun;
      He put it in a box;
And then he went and bought a bun,
      And walked about the Docks.

	

H was Papa`s new Hat;
      He wore it on his head;
Outside it was completely black,
      But inside it was red.

 
I was an Inkstand new,
      Papa he likes to use it;
He keeps it in his pocket now,
      For fear that he should lose it.

 J was some Apple Jam,
      Of which Papa ate part,
But all the rest he took away,
      And stuffed into a tart.

 
K was a great new Kite;
      Papa he saw it fly
Above a thousand chimney pots,
      And all about the sky.

 L was a fine new Lamp;
      but when the wick was lit,
Papa he said, `This light ain`t good!
      I cannot read a bit!`

M was a dish of Mince;
      It looked so good to eat!
Papa, he quickly ate it up,
      And said, `This is a treat!`
	

N was a Nut that grew
      High up upon a tree;
Papa, who could not reach it,said,
      `That`s much too high for me!`

 
O was an Owl who flew
      All in the dark away,
Papa said, `What an owl you are!
      `Why don`t you fly by day!`

 P was a little Pig,
      Went out to take a walk;
Papa he said, `If Piggy dead,
      He`d all turn into Pork!`

Q was a Quince that hung
      Upon a garden tree;
Papa he brought it with him home,
      And ate it with his tea.

 R was a Railway Rug,
      Extremely large and warm;
Papa he wrapped it round his head,
      In a most dreadful storm.

 
S was Papa`s new Stick,
      Papa`s new thumping Stick,
To thump extremely wicked boys,
      Because it was so thick.

 T was a Tumbler full
      of Punch all hot and good;
Papa he drank it up, when in
      The middle of a wood.

 
U was a silver Urn,
      Full of hot scalding water;
Papa said, `If that Urn were mine,
      I`d give it to my daughter!`

 
V was a Villain; once;
      He stole a piece of beef.
Papa he said, `O! dreadful man!
      That Villain is a Thief!`


W was a Watch of Gold:
      It told the time of day,
So that Papa knew when to come,
      And when to go away.

 
	X was King Xerxes, whom
      Papa much wished to know;
But this he could not do, because
      Xerxes died long ago.

 
Y was a Youth, who kicked
      And screamed and cried like mad;
Papa he said, `Your conduct is
      Abominably bad!`

 
	Z was a Zebra striped
      And streaked with lines of black;
Papa said once, he thought he`d like
      A ride upon his back.
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