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Edgar Guest - Contrary Sary
Work rating: Low

There’s no sense arguin` with `em," says Ebenezer Gates, 
You can`t convince the women that they ain`t fit fer votes;
There`s Sary got the notion that she`s as good as man, 
An` I can`t show her diff`runt, an` no man livin` can. 
She`s most bnreasonubbel. `Now, I suppose,` says she,
`If I got drunk each evenin` ye`d think lots more o` me?`

"She`s so consarn contrary, she won`t talk common sense,
She flies right off the handle the minute I commence. 
`Of course, we ain`t men`s equals,` says Sary, `if we wuz 
We`d hang around some barroom the way Jim Pilzer does; 
We`d soak ourselves with liquor, an` guzzle down our pay 
An` show ourselves your equals in some sich manly way.`

"Now what`s the use of reason, when women talk like that?
Ye might as well keep silent. With facts I knock her flat,
But when I git her cornered, she smiles an` says t` me: 
`Hank Foss has been arrested. He beat his family;
The neighbors have his children, his wife is sick in bed,
The ballot ain`t fer wimmin, it`s kep` fer Hank instead.`
"It really is a caution how foolish she`s become! 
`I wisht I knew enough,` says she, `t` be a village bum; 
I wisht I had the brain power t` loaf around all day 
An` see my children barefoot, but I ain`t built that way.
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