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Edgar Guest - Warning The Carpenter
Work rating: Low

SAY, Mister Carpenter, you know, you got me spanked last night,
I guess your Pa and Ma forgot to teach you what was right; 
An` I can`t come here any more to watch you build that fence,
Coz my Pa says a man like you ain`t got a bit of sense. 
You `member yesterday, when you was nailing up a board 
An` hit your thumb an awful whack the drefful things you swored,
Well, I felt sorry for you then, coz I am only three, 
An` I supposed `at what you said would be all right for me.

Las` night I was a-playin` wif my hammer an` a box 
An` hit my thumb jus` like you did two terrible hard knocks; 
My Ma an` Pa were standing near, an` bofe of `em turned red 
When I let loose an` said out loud the drefful things you said. 
You never told me it was wrong; it seemed to comfort you, 
An` when I hit my thumb I s`posed it was all right to do.
But you will never get to be an angel when you die 
Becoz you used such wicked words an` let your temper fly.
 
My Pa, he took me on his knee an` spanked me for it, too, 
An` Ma, she jus` sat down an` cried the whole long evenin` through;
She says there ought to be a law to keep bad men away 
From decent neighborhoods like ours where little children play.
You let me get a wallopin`. An` I don`t think it fair, 
Say! Ain`t you got no Pa an` Ma to teach you not to swear?

It`s all your fault that I got licked, an` Ma says when you die
There ain`t a-goin` to be no place for you up in the sky; 
An` Pa says `at you ought to know `at little fellow`s ears 
Pick up the things that bad men say. An` if he ever hears 
That I`ve been hangin` round this place he don`t know what he`ll do; 
I guess he`ll tell your Pa an` Ma, an` you`ll get walloped, too.
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