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Edgar Guest - What A Sick Woman Does
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ACONVALESCIN` woman does the strangest sort o` things, 
An` it`s wonderful the courage that a little new strength brings;
O, it`s never safe to leave her for an hour or two alone, 
Or you`ll find th` doctor`s good work has been quickly overthrown. 
There`s that wife o` mine, I reckon she`s a sample of `em all; 
She`s been mighty sick, I tell you, an` today can scarcely crawl, 
But I left her jes` this mornin` while I fought potater bugs, 
An` I got back home an` caught her in the back yard shakin` rugs.

I ain`t often cross with Nellie, an` I let her have her way,
But it made me mad as thunder when I got back home that day
An` found her doin` labor that`d tax a big man`s strength,
An` I guess I lost my temper/for I scolded her at length;
`Til I seen her tear drops fallin` anVshe said: " I couldn`t stand
T` see those rugs so dirty, so I took `em all in hand,
An` it ain`t hurt me nuther, see I `m gettin` strong again — "
An` I said: " Doggone it! Can`t ye leave sich work as that fer men? "

Once I had her in a hospittle fer weeks an` weeks an` weeks,
An` she wasted most t` nothin`, an` th` roses left her cheeks; 
An` one night I feared I `d l se her; `t was the turnin` point, I guess, 
Coz th` next day I remember that th` doctor said: "Success!" 
Well, I brought her home an` told her that for two months she must stay
A-sitttn` in her rocker an` jes` watch th` kids at play; 
An` th` first week she was patient, but I mind the way I swore 
On th` day when I discovered `at she `d scrubbed th` kitchen floor.

O, you can`t keep wimmin quiet an` they ain`t a bit like men, 
They `re hungerin` every minute jes` t` get t` work again; 
An` you`ve got t` watch `«m allus, when you know they`re weak an` ill, 
Coz th` minute that yer back is turned they`ll labor fit t` kill. 
Th` house ain`t cleaned t` suit `em an` they seem t` fret an` fume 
`Less they `re busy doin` somethin` with a mop or else a broom; 
An` it ain`t no use t` scold `em an` it ain`t no use t` swear, 
Coz th` next time they will do it jes` the minute you ain`t there.
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