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Edgar Guest - Dr. Johnson`s Picture Cow
Work rating: Low

Got a sliver in my hand
An` it hurt t` beat the band,
An` got white around it, too;
Then the first thing that I knew
It was all swelled up, an` Pa
Said: "There`s no use fussin`, Ma,
Jes` put on his coat an` hat;
Doctor Johnson must see that."

I was scared an` yelled, because
One time when the doctor was
At our house he made me smell
Something funny, an` I fell
Fast asleep, an` when I woke
Seemed like I was goin` t` choke;
An` the folks who stood about
Said I`d had my tonsils out.

An` my throat felt awful sore
An` I couldn`t eat no more,
An` it hurt me when I`d talk,
An` they wouldn`t let me walk.
So when Pa said I must go
To the doctor`s, I said: "No,
I don`t want to go to-night,
`Cause my hand will be all right."

Pa said: "Take him, Ma," an` so
I jes` knew I had t` go.
An` the doctor looked an` said:
"It is very sore an` red--
Much too sore to touch at all.
See that picture on the wall,
That one over yonder, Bud,
With the old cow in the mud?

"Once I owned a cow like that,
Jes` as brown an` big an` fat,
An` one day I pulled her tail
An` she kicked an` knocked the pail
Full o` milk clean over me."
Then I looked up there t` see
His old cow above the couch,
An` right then I hollered "ouch."

"Bud," says he, "what`s wrong with you;
Did the old cow kick you, too?"
An` he laughed, an` Ma said: "Son,
Never mind, now, it`s all done."
Pretty soon we came away
An` my hand`s all well to-day.
But that`s first time that I knew
Picture cows could kick at you.
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