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Edgar Guest - Golf Luck
Work rating: Low

As a golfer I`m not one who cops the money;
  I shall always be a member of the dubs;
There are times my style is positively funny;
  I am awkward in my handling of the clubs.
I am not a skillful golfer, nor a plucky,
  But this about myself I proudly say--
When I win a hole by freaky stroke or lucky,
  I never claim I played the shot that way.

There are times, despite my blundering behavior,
  When fortune seems to follow at my heels;
Now and then I play supremely in her favor,
  And she lets me pull the rankest sort of steals;
She`ll give to me the friendliest assistance,
  I`ll jump a ditch at times when I should not,
I`ll top the ball and get a lot of distance--
  But I don`t claim that`s how I played the shot.

I`ve hooked a ball when just that hook I needed,
  And wondered how I ever turned the trick;
I`ve thanked my luck for what a friendly tree did,
  Although my fortune made my rival sick;
Sometimes my shots turn out just as I planned `em,
  The sort of shots I usually play,
But when up to the cup I chance to land `em,
  I never claim I played `em just that way.

There`s little in my game that will commend me;
  I`m not a shark who shoots the course in par;
I need good fortune often to befriend me;
  I have my faults and know just what they are.
I play golf in a desperate do-or-die way,
  And into traps and trouble oft I stray,
But when by chance the breaks are coming my way,
  I do not claim I played the shots that way.
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