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Edgar Guest - She Powders Her Nose
Work rating: Low

A woman is queer, there`s no doubt about that.
She hates to be thin and she hates to be fat;
One minute it`s laughter, the next it`s a cry--
You can`t understand her, however you try;
But there`s one thing about her which everyone knows--
A woman`s not dressed till she powders her nose.

You never can tell what a woman will say;
She`s a law to herself every hour of the day.
It keeps a man guessing to know what to do,
And mostly he`s wrong when his guessing is through;
But this you can bet on, wherever she goes
She`ll find some occasion to powder her nose.

I`ve studied the sex for a number of years;
I`ve watched her in laughter and seen her in tears;
On her ways and her whims I have pondered a lot,
To find what will please her and just what will not;
But all that I`ve learned from the start to the close
Is that sooner or later she`ll powder her nose.

At church or a ball game, a dance or a show,
There`s one thing about her I know that I know--
At weddings or funerals, dinners of taste,
You can bet that her hand will dive into her waist,
And every few minutes she`ll strike up a pose,
And the whole world must wait till she powders her nose.
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