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Edgar Guest - Ma And The Ouija Board
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I don`t know what it`s all about, but Ma says that she wants to know
If spirits in the other world can really talk to us below.
An` Pa says, "Gosh! there`s folks enough on earth to talk to, I should
    think,
Without you pesterin` the folks whose souls have gone across the brink."
But Ma, she wants to find out things an` study on her own accord,
An` so a month or two ago she went an` bought a ouija board.

It`s just a shiny piece of wood, with letters printed here an` there,
An` has a little table which you put your fingers on with care,
An` then you sit an` whisper low some question that you want to know.
Then by an` by the spirit comes an` makes the little table go,
An` Ma, she starts to giggle then an` Pa just grumbles out, "Oh, Lord!
I wish you hadn`t bought this thing. We didn`t need a ouija board."

"You`re movin` it!" says Ma to Pa. "I`m not!" says Pa, "I know it`s you;
You`re makin` it spell things to us that you know very well aren`t true."
"That isn`t so," says Ma to him, "but I am certain from the way
The ouija moves that you`re the one who`s tellin` it just what to say."
"It`s just `lectricity," says Pa; "like batteries all men are stored,
But anyhow I don`t believe we ought to have a ouija board."

One night Ma got it out, an` said, "Now, Pa, I want you to be fair,
Just keep right still an` let your hands rest lightly on the table there.
Oh, Ouija, tell me, tell me true, are we to buy another car,
An` will we get it very soon?" she asked. "Oh, tell us from afar."
"Don`t buy a car," the letters spelled, "the price this year you can`t
    afford."
Then Ma got mad, an` since that time she`s never used the ouija board.
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