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Edgar Guest - A Convalescin` Woman
Work rating: Low

A convalescin` woman does the strangest sort o` things,
An` it`s wonderful the courage that a little new strength brings;
O, it`s never safe to leave her for an hour or two alone,
Or you`ll find th` doctor`s good work has been quickly overthrown.
There`s that wife o` mine, I reckon she`s a sample of `em all;
She`s been mighty sick, I tell you, an` to-day can scarcely crawl,
But I left her jes` this mornin` while I fought potater bugs,
An` I got back home an` caught her in the back yard shakin` rugs.

I ain`t often cross with Nellie, an` I let her have her way,
But it made me mad as thunder when I got back home to-day
An` found her doin` labor that`d tax a big man`s strength;
An` I guess I lost my temper, for I scolded her at length,
`Til I seen her teardrops fallin` an` she said: "I couldn`t stand
To see those rugs so dirty, so I took `em all in hand,
An` it ain`t hurt me nuther--see, I`m gettin` strong again--"
An` I said: "Doggone it! can`t ye leave sich work as that fer men?"

Once I had her in a hospittle fer weeks an` weeks an` weeks,
An` she wasted most to nothin`, an` th` roses left her cheeks;
An` one night I feared I`d lose her; `twas the turnin` point, I guess,
Coz th` next day I remember that th` doctor said: "Success!"
Well, I brought her home an` told her that for two months she must stay
A-sittin` in her rocker an` jes` watch th` kids at play.
An` th` first week she was patient, but I mind the way I swore
On th` day when I discovered `at she`d scrubbed th` kitchen floor.

O, you can`t keep wimmin quiet, an` they ain`t a bit like men;
They`re hungerin` every minute jes` to get to work again;
An` you`ve got to watch `em allus, when you know they`re weak an` ill,
Coz th` minute that yer back is turned they`ll labor fit to kill.
Th` house ain`t cleaned to suit `em an` they seem to fret an` fume
`Less they`re busy doin` somethin` with a mop or else a broom;
An` it ain`t no use to scold `em an` it ain`t no use to swear,
Coz th` next time they will do it jes` the minute you ain`t there.
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