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Lewis Carroll - A Sea Dirge
Work rating: Medium

THERE are certain things - as, a spider, a ghost,
The income-tax, gout, an umbrella for three -
That I hate, but the thing that I hate the most
Is a thing they call the Sea. 

Pour some salt water over the floor -
Ugly I`m sure you`ll allow it to be:
Suppose it extended a mile or more,
THAT`S very like the Sea. 

Beat a dog till it howls outright -
Cruel, but all very well for a spree:
Suppose that he did so day and night,
THAT would be like the Sea. 

I had a vision of nursery-maids;
Tens of thousands passed by me -
All leading children with wooden spades,
And this was by the Sea. 

Who invented those spades of wood?
Who was it cut them out of the tree?
None, I think, but an idiot could -
Or one that loved the Sea. 

It is pleasant and dreamy, no doubt, to float
With `thoughts as boundless, and souls as free`:
But, suppose you are very unwell in the boat,
How do you like the Sea? 

There is an insect that people avoid
(Whence is derived the verb `to flee`).
Where have you been by it most annoyed?
In lodgings by the Sea. 

If you like your coffee with sand for dregs,
A decided hint of salt in your tea,
And a fishy taste in the very eggs -
By all means choose the Sea. 

And if, with these dainties to drink and eat,
You prefer not a vestige of grass or tree,
And a chronic state of wet in your feet,
Then - I recommend the Sea. 

For I have friends who dwell by the coast -
Pleasant friends they are to me!
It is when I am with them I wonder most
That anyone likes the Sea. 

They take me a walk: though tired and stiff,
To climb the heights I madly agree;
And, after a tumble or so from the cliff,
They kindly suggest the Sea. 

I try the rocks, and I think it cool
That they laugh with such an excess of glee,
As I heavily slip into every pool
That skirts the cold cold Sea.
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