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Hilaire Belloc - Rebecca Who Slammed Doors for Fun and Perished Miserably
Work rating: Medium

	A trick that everyone abhors
	In little girls is slamming doors.
	A wealthy banker`s little daughter
	Who lived in Palace Green, Bayswater
	(By name Rebecca Offendort),
	Was given to this furious sport.

	She would deliberately go
	And slam the door like billy-o!
	To make her Uncle Jacob start.
	She was not really bad at heart,
	But only rather rude and wild;
	She was an aggravating child…

	It happened that a marble bust
	Of Abraham was standing just
	Above the door this little lamb
	Had carefully prepared to slam,
	And down it came! It knocked her flat!
	It laid her out! She looked like that.

	Her funeral sermon (which was long
	And followed by a sacred song)
	Mentioned her virtues, it is true,
	But dwelt upon her vices too,
	And showed the dreadful end of one
	Who goes and slams the door for fun.

	The children who were brought to hear
	The awful tale from far and near
	Were much impressed, and inly swore
	They never more would slam the door,
	— As often they had done before.
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