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Shel Silverstein - Three-Legged Man
Work rating: Low

Well now friends you`ll never guess it so I really must confess it
I just met the sweetest woman of my long dismal life.
But a friend of mine said, "Buddy, just in case your mind is muddy,
Don`t you know that girl you`re fooling with is Peg-Leg Johnson`s wife.
And that man is big and rough and mean and grim,
And he`ll brain you with his artificial limb.
But next morning bright and early I stole old Peg-Leg`s girlie,
And I also took his wooden leg just to play it safe.
But there weren`t no time for laughter `cause he started hopping after,
And I keep on running faster but he won`t give up the chase.
And I`m running through the mountain with his bride,
And I got his wooden leg here by my side. 
I`m a three-legged man with a two-legged woman
Being chased cross country by a one-legged fool.
Though he`s huffing and he`s puffing and he shows no sign of stopping,
I tell you, boys, this life is hard and cruel. 
`Cross the deserts and the valleys and the dark Chicago alleys
`Cross the mighty Mississippi to the hills of Caroline.
Through the mountains of Montana and the swamps of Louisiana
Everytime that I look back he`s JUST one foot behind.
And I know he must be cold and wet and sick,
But in spite of all his woes he can kick.
Now he`s ragged and he`s filthy, and I`m feeling mighty guilty
`Specially in the evenings when I hear him plead and beg.
He says "In spite of all your stealing friend, I bear you no hard feelings.
You can keep that darned old woman but please give me back my leg."
`Cause although the one you meant to take was wooden
In the dark by mistake you took my good`un.
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