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Shel Silverstein - If The World Was Crazy
Work rating: Low

If the world was crazy, you know what I`d eat?
A big slice of soup and a whole quart of meat,
A lemonade sandwich, and then I might try
Some roasted ice cream or a bicycle pie,
A nice notebook salad, and underwear roast,
An omelet of hats and some crisp cardboard toast,
A thick malted milk made from pencils and daisies,
And that`s what I`d eat if the world was crazy.
 
If the world was crazy, you know what I`d wear?
A chocolate suit and a tie of eclair,
Some marshmallow earmuffs, some licorice shoes,
And I`d read a paper of peppermint news.
I`d call the boys "Suzy" and I`d call the girls "Harry,"
I`d talk through my ears, and I always would carry 
A paper unbrella for when it grew hazy
To keep in the rain, if the world was crazy.
 
If the world was crazy, you know what I`d do?
I`d walk on the ocean and swim in my shoe,
I`d fly through the ground and I`d skip through the air,
I`d run down the bathtub and bathe on the stair.
When I met somebody I`d say "G`bye, Joe,"
And when I was leaving - then I`d say "Hello." 
And the greatest of men would be silly and lazy 
So I would be king... if the world was cazy.
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