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Shel Silverstein - Father Of A Boy Named Sue
Work rating: Medium

(Okay now years ago I wrote a song called A Boy Named Sue and that was okay
And everything except then I started to think about it and I thought 
It is unfair I am looking at the whole thing from the poor kid`s point of view
And as I get more older and more fatherly
I begin to look at things from an old man`s point of view
So I decided to give the old man equal time okay here we go)

Yeah I lef` home when the kid was three and it sure felt good to be fancy free
Tho I knew it wasn`t quite the fatherly thing to do 
But that kid kept screamin` and throwin` up and pissin` in his pants til I had enough
So just for revenge I went and named him Sue
Yeah it was Gatlinberg in mid July I was gettin` drunk but gettin` by
Gettin` old and goin` from bad to worse
When thru the door with an awful scream comes the ugliest queen I`ve ever seen
He says my name is Sue how do you do then he hits me with his purse

Now this ain`t the way he tells the tale but he scratched my face with his fingernails
And then he bit my thumb and kicked me with his high-heeled shoe 
So I hit him in the nose and he started to cry and he threw some perfume in my eye
And it sure ain`t easy fightin` with a boy named Sue

So I hit him in the head with a caned-back chair
And he screamed hey dad you mussed my hair
And he hit me in the navel and knocked out a piece of my lint 
He was spittin` blood I was spittin` teeth 
And we crashed through the wall and out into the street
A kickin and gougin` in the mud and the blood and the creme de menth

Then out of his garter he pulls a gun I`m about to get shot by my very own son 
He`s screamin` bout Sigmond Freud and lookin` grim uh
So I thought fast and I told him some stuff 
How I named him Sue just to make him tough 
And I guess he bought it cuz now I`m livin` with him 
Yeah he cooks and sews and cleans up the place he cuts my hair and shaves my face 
And irons my shirts better than a daughter could do
And on the nights that I can`t score well I can`t tell you anymore 
Sure is a joy to have a boy named Sue yeah a son is fun 
But it`s a joy to have a boy named Sue
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