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Spike Milligan - The ABC
Work rating: Medium

`Twas midnight in the schoolroom
And every desk was shut
When suddenly from the alphabet 
Was heard a loud "Tut-Tut!"
 
Said A to B, "I don`t like C;
His manners are a lack.
For all I ever see of C
Is a semi-circular back!"
 
"I disagree," said D to B,
"I`ve never found C so.
From where I stand he seems to be
An uncompleted O."
 
C was vexed, "I`m much perplexed,
You criticise my shape.
I`m made like that, to help spell Cat
And Cow and Cool and Cape."
 
"He`s right" said E; said F, "Whoopee!"
Said G, "`Ip, `Ip, `ooray!"
"You`re dropping me," roared H to G.
"Don`t do it please I pray."
 
"Out of my way," LL said to K.
"I`ll make poor I look ILL."
To stop this stunt J stood in front,
And presto! ILL was JILL.
 
"U know," said V, "that W
Is twice the age of me.
For as a Roman V is five
I`m half as young as he."
 
X and Y yawned sleepily,
"Look at the time!" they said.
"Let`s all get off to beddy byes."
They did, then "Z-z-z."
Source
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