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James Whitcomb Riley - A Dubious "Old Kriss"
Work rating: Low

Us-folks is purty _pore_--but Ma
  She`s waitin`--two years more--tel Pa
  He serve his term out. Our Pa he--
  _He`s in the Penitenchurrie_!

  Now don`t you never _tell_!--`cause _Sis_,
  The _baby_, _she_ don`t know he is.--
  `Cause she wuz only four, you know,
  He kissed her last an` hat to go!

  Pa alluz liked Sis best of all
  Us childern.--`Spect it`s `cause she fall
  "When she`uz ist a _child_, one day--
  An` make her back look thataway.

  Pa--`fore he be a burglar--he`s
  A locksmiff, an` maked locks, an` keys,
  An` knobs you pull fer bells to ring,
  An` he could ist make _anything_!--

  `Cause our Ma say he can!--An` this
  Here little pair o` crutches Sis
  Skips round on--Pa maked _them_--yes-sir!--
  An` silivur-plate-name here fer her!

  Pa`s out o` work when Chris`mus come
  One time, an` stay away from home,
  An` `s drunk an` `buse our Ma, an` swear
  They ain`t no "Old Kriss" anywhere!

  An` Sis she alluz say they wuz
  A` Old Kriss--an` she alluz does.
  But ef they is a` Old Kriss, why,
  When`s Chris`mus, Ma she alluz cry?

  This Chris`mus _now_, we live here in
  Where Ma`s rent`s alluz due ag`in--
  An` she "_ist slaves_"--I heerd her say
  She did--ist them words thataway!

  An` th`other night, when all`s so cold
  An` stove`s `most out--our Ma she rolled
  Us in th`old feather-bed an` said,
  "To-morry`s Chris`mus--go to bed,

  "An` thank yer blessed stars fer this--
  We don`t _`spect_ nothin` from Old Kriss!"
  An` cried, an` locked the door, an` prayed,
  An` turned the lamp down.... An` I laid

  There, thinkin` in the dark ag`in,
  "Ef _wuz_ Old Kriss, he can`t git in,
  `Cause ain`t no chimbly here at all--
  Ist old stovepipe stuck frue the wall!"

  I sleeped nen.--An` wuz dreamin` some
  When I waked up an` morning`s come,--
  Fer our Ma she wuz settin` square
  Straight up in bed, a-readin` there

  Some letter `at she `d read, an` quit,
  An` nen hold like she`s huggin` it.--
  An` diamon` ear-rings she don`t _know_
  Wuz in her ears tel I say so--

  An` wake the rest up. An` the sun
  In frue the winder dazzle-un
  Them eyes o` Sis`s, wiv a sure-
  Enough gold chain Old Kriss bringed to `er!

  An` _all_ of us git gold things!--Sis,
  Though, say she know it "_ain`t_ Old Kriss--
  He kissed her, so she waked an` saw
  Him skite out--an` it wuz her Pa."
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