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James Whitcomb Riley - The Bear-Story
Work rating: Medium

THAT ALEX "IST MAKED UP HIS-OWN-SE`F"

W`y, wunst they wuz a Little Boy went out
In the woods to shoot a Bear. So, he went out
`Way in the grea`-big woods--he did.--An` he
Wuz goin`along--an`goin`along, you know,
An` purty soon he heerd somepin` go "_Wooh!_"--
Ist thataway--"_Woo-ooh!_" An` he wuz _skeered_,
He wuz. An` so he runned an` clumbed a tree--
A grea`-big tree, he did,--a sicka-_more_ tree.
An` nen he heerd it agin: an` he looked round,
An` _`t`uz a Bear!--a grea`-big, shore-nuff Bear!_--
No: `t`uz _two_ Bears, it wuz--two grea`-big Bears--
_One_ of `em wuz--ist _one`s a grea`-big_ Bear.--
But they ist _boff_ went "_Wooh!_ "--An` here _they_ come
To climb the tree an` git the Little Boy
An`eat him up!

                    An` nen the Little Boy
He `uz skeered worse`n ever! An` here come
The grea`-big Bear a-climbin` th` tree to git
The Little Boy an` eat him up--Oh, _no!_--
It `uzn`t the _Big_ Bear `at clumb the tree--
It `uz the _Little_ Bear. So here _he_ come
Climbin` the tree--an` climbin` the tree! Nen when
He git wite _clos`t_ to the Little Boy, w`y nen
The Little Boy he ist pulled up his gun
An` _shot_ the Bear, he did, an` killed him dead!
An` nen the Bear he falled clean on down out
The tree--away clean to the ground, he did
_Spling-splung!_ he falled _plum_ down, an` killed him, too!
An` lit wite side o` where the` _Big_ Bear`s at.

An` nen the Big Bear`s awful mad, you bet!--
`Cause--`cause the Little Boy he shot his gun
An` killed the _Little_ Bear.--`Cause the _Big_ Bear
He--he `uz the Little Bear`s Papa.--An` so here
_He_ come to climb the big old tree an` git
The Little Boy an` eat him up! An` when
The Little Boy he saw the _grea`-big Bear_
A-comin`, he `uz badder skeered, he wuz,
Than _any_ time! An` so he think he`ll climb
Up _higher_--`way up higher in the tree
Than the old _Bear_ kin climb, you know.--But he--
He _can`t_ climb higher `an old _Bears_ kin climb,--
`Cause Bears kin climb up higher in the trees
Than any little Boys In all the Wo-r-r-ld!

An` so here come the grea`-big Bear, he did,--
A-climbin` up--an` up the tree, to git
The Little Boy an` eat him up! An` so
The Little Boy he clumbed on higher, an` higher.
An` higher up the tree--an` higher--an` higher--
An` higher`n iss-here _house_ is!--An` here come
Th` old Bear--clos`ter to him all the time!--
An` nen--first thing you know,--when th` old Big Bear
Wuz wite clos`t to him--nen the Little Boy
Ist jabbed his gun wite in the old Bear`s mouf
An` shot an` killed him dead!--No; I _fergot_,--
He didn`t shoot the grea`-big Bear at all--
`Cause _they `uz no load in the gun_, you know--
`Cause when he shot the _Little_ Bear, w`y, nen
No load `uz anymore nen _in_ the gun!

But th` Little Boy clumbed _higher_ up, he did--
He clumbed _lots_ higher--an` on up _higher_--an` higher
An` _higher_--tel he ist _can`t_ climb no higher,
`Cause nen the limbs `uz all so little, `way
Up in the teeny-weeny tip-top of
The tree, they`d break down wiv him ef he don`t
Be keerful! So he stop an` think: An` nen
He look around--An` here come th` old Bear!
An` so the Little Boy make up his mind
He`s got to ist git out o` there _some_ way!--
`Cause here come the old Bear!--so clos`t, his bref`s
Purt `nigh so`s he kin feel how hot it is
Aginst his bare feet--ist like old "Ring`s" bref
When he`s ben out a-huntin` an`s all tired.
So when th` old Bear`s so clos`t--the Little Boy
Ist gives a grea`-big jump fer `_nother_ tree--
No!--no he don`t do that!--I tell you what
The Little Boy does:--W`y, nen--w`y, he--Oh, _yes_--
The Little Boy _he finds a hole up there
`At`s in the tree_--an` climbs in there an` _hides_--
An` _nen_ the old Bear can`t find the Little Boy
Ut-tall!--But, purty soon th` old Bear finds
The Little Boy`s _gun_ `at`s up there--`cause the _gun_
It`s too _tall_ to tooked wiv him in the hole.
So, when the old Bear find` the _gun_, he knows
The Little Boy ist _hid_ `round _somers_ there,--
An` th` old Bear `gins to snuff an` sniff around,
An` sniff an` snuff around--so`s he kin find
Out where the Little Boy`s hid at.--An` nen--nen--
Oh, _yes!_--W`y, purty soon the old Bear climbs
`Way out on a big limb--a grea`-long limb,--
An` nen the Little Boy climbs out the hole
An` takes his ax an` chops the limb off!... Nen
The old Bear falls _k-splunge!_ clean to the ground
An` bust an` kill hisse`f plum dead, he did!

An` nen the Little Boy he git his gun
An` `menced a-climbin` down the tree agin--
No!--no, he _didn`t_ git his _gun_--`cause when
The _Bear_ falled, nen the _gun_ falled, too--An` broked
It all to pieces, too!--An` _nicest_ gun!--
His Pa ist buyed it!--An` the Little Boy
Ist cried, he did; an` went on climbin` down
The tree--an` climbin` down--an` climbin` down!--
_An`-sir!_ when he `uz purt`-nigh down,--w`y, nen
_The old Bear he jumped up agin!_--an he
Ain`t dead ut-tall--_ist_ `tendin` thataway,
So he kin git the Little Boy an` eat
Him up! But the Little Boy he `uz too smart
To climb clean _down_ the tree.--An` the old Bear
He can`t climb _up_ the tree no more--`cause when
He fell, he broke one of his--He broke _all_
His legs!--an` nen he _couldn`t_ climb! But he
Ist won`t go `way an` let the Little Boy
Come down out of the tree. An` the old Bear
Ist growls `round there, he does--ist growls an` goes
"_Wooh! woo-ooh!_" all the time! An` Little Boy
He haf to stay up in the tree--all night--
An` `thout no _supper_ neever!--Only they
Wuz _apples_ on the tree!--An` Little Boy
Et apples--ist all night--an` cried--an` cried!
Nen when `tuz morning th` old Bear went "_Wooh!_"
Agin, an` try to climb up in the tree
An` git the Little Boy.--But he _can`t_
Climb t`save his _soul_, he can`t!--An` _oh!_ he`s _mad!_--
He ist tear up the ground! an` go "_Woo-ooh!_"
An`--_Oh,yes!_--purty soon, when morning`s come
All _light_--so`s you kin _see_, you know,--w`y, nen
The old Bear finds the Little Boy`s _gun_, you know,
`At`s on the ground.--(An` it ain`t broke ut-tall--
I ist _said_ that!) An` so the old Bear think
He`ll take the gun an` _shoot_ the Little Boy:--
But _Bears they_ don`t know much `bout shootin` guns:
So when he go to shoot the Little Boy,
The old Bear got the _other_ end the gun
Agin his shoulder, `stid o` _th`other_ end--
So when he try to shoot the Little Boy,
It shot _the Bear_, it did--an` killed him dead!
An` nen the Little Boy dumb down the tree
An` chopped his old wooly head off:--Yes, an` killed
The _other_ Bear agin, he did--an` killed
All _boff_ the bears, he did--an` tuk `em home
An` _cooked_ `em, too, an` _et_ `em!

                    --An` that`s
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