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James Whitcomb Riley - Thomas The Pretender
Work rating: Low

Tommy`s alluz playin` jokes,
  An` actin` up, an` foolin` folks;
    An` wunst one time he creep
  In Pa`s big chair, he did, one night,
  An` squint an` shut his eyes bofe tight,
    An` say, "Now I `m asleep."
  An` nen we knowed, an` Ma know` too,
  He _ain`t_ asleep no more `n you!

  An` wunst he clumbed on our back`fence
  An` flop his arms an` nen commence
    To crow, like he`s a hen;
  But when he failed off, like he done,
  He didn`t fool us childern none,
    Ner didn`t _crow_ again.
  An` our Hired Man, as he come by,
  Says, "Tom can`t _crow_, but he kin _cry_."
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