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James Whitcomb Riley - Jack The Giant Killer
Work rating: Low

_Bad Boy`s Version_.

  Tell you a story--an` it`s a fac`:--
  Wunst wuz a little boy, name wuz Jack,
  An` he had sword an` buckle an` strap
  Maked of gold, an` a "`visibul cap;"
  An` he killed Gi`nts `at et whole cows--
  Th` horns an` all--an` pigs an` sows!
  But Jack, his golding sword wuz, oh!
  So awful sharp `at he could go
  An` cut th` ole Gi`nts clean in two
  Fore `ey knowed what he wuz goin` to do!
  An` _one_ ole Gi`nt, he had four
  Heads, and name wuz "Bumblebore"--
  An` he wuz feered o` Jack--`cause he,
  _Jack_, he killed six--five--ten--three,
  An` all o` th` uther ole Gi`nts but him:
  An` thay wuz a place Jack haf to swim
  `Fore he could git t` ole "Bumblebore"--
  Nen thay was "griffuns" at the door:
  But Jack, he thist plunged in an` swum
  Clean acrost; an` when he come
  To th` uther side, he thist put on
  His "`visibul cap," an` nen, dog-gone!
  You could n`t see him at all!--An` so
  He slewed the "griffuns"--_boff_, you know!
  Nen wuz a horn hunged over his head
  High on th` wall, an` words `at read,--
  "Whoever kin this trumput blow
  Shall cause the Gi`nt`s overth`ow!"
  An` Jack, he thist reached up an` blowed
  The stuffin` out of it! an` th`owed
  Th` castul-gates wide open, an`
  Nen tuck his gold sword in his han`,
  An` thist marched in t` ole "Bumblebore,"
  An`, `fore he knowed, he put `bout four
  Heads on him--an` chopped `em off, too!--
  Wisht `at _I`d_ been Jack!--don`t you?
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