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James Whitcomb Riley - By Any Other Name
Work rating: Low

First the teacher called the roll,
    Clos`t to the beginnin`,
  "Addeliney Bowersox!"
    Set the school a-grinnin`.
  Wintertime, and stingin`-cold
    When the session took up--
  Cold as _we_ all looked at _her_,
    Though _she_ couldn`t look up!

  Total stranger to us, too--
    Country-folks ain`t allus
  Nigh so shameful unpolite
    As some people call us!--
  But the honest facts is, _then_,
    Addeliney Bower-
  Sox`s feelin`s was so hurt
    She cried half an hour!

  My dest was acrost from her `n:
    Set and watched her tryin`
  To p`tend she didn`t keer,
    And a kind o` dryin`
  Up her tears with smiles---tel I
    Thought, "Well, `_Addeliney
  Bowersox_` is plain, but _she`s_
    Purty as a piney!"

  It`s be`n many of a year
    Sence that most oncommon
  Cur`ous name o` _Bowersox_
    Struck me so abomin-
  Nubble and outlandish-like!--
    I changed it to Adde-
  Liney _Daubenspeck_--and _that_
    Nearly killed her Daddy!
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