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James Whitcomb Riley - Maymie`s Story Of Red Riding Hood
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W`y, one time wuz a little-weenty dirl,
An` she wuz named Red Riding Hood, `cause her--
Her _Ma_ she maked a little red cloak fer her
`At turnt up over her head--An` it `uz all
Ist one piece o` red cardinal `at `s like
The drate-long stockin`s the store-keepers has.--
O! it `uz purtiest cloak in all the world
An` _all_ this town er anywheres they is!
An` so, one day, her Ma she put it on
Red Riding Hood, she did--one day, she did--
An` it `uz _Sund`y_--`cause the little cloak
It `uz too nice to wear ist _ever`_ day
An` _all_ the time!--An` so her Ma, she put
It on Red Riding Hood--an` telled her not
To dit no dirt on it ner dit it mussed
Ner nothin`! An`--an`--nen her Ma she dot
Her little basket out, `at Old Kriss bringed
Her wunst--one time, he did. And nen she fill`
It full o` whole lots an` `bundance o` good things t` eat
(Allus my Dran`ma _she_ says ``bundance,` too.)
An` so her Ma fill` little Red Riding Hood`s
Nice basket all ist full o` dood things t` eat,
An` tell her take `em to her old Dran`ma--
An` not to _spill_ `em, neever--`cause ef she
`Ud stump her toe an` spill `em, her Dran`ma
She`ll haf to _punish_ her!

                    An` nen--An` so
Little Red Riding Hood she p`omised she
`Ud be all careful nen an` cross` her heart
`At she wont run an` spill `em all fer six--
Five--ten--two-hundred-bushel-dollars-gold!
An` nen she kiss her Ma doo`-bye an` went
A-skippin` off--away fur off frough the
Big woods, where her Dran`ma she live at.--No!--
She didn`t do _a-skippin`_, like I said:--
She ist went _walkin`_--careful-like an` slow--
Ist like a little lady--walkin` `long
As all polite an` nice--an` slow--an` straight--
An` turn her toes--ist like she`s marchin` in
The Sund`y-School k-session!

                    An`--an`--so
She `uz a-doin` along--an` doin` along--
On frough the drate big woods--`cause her Dran`ma
She live `way, `way fur off frough the big woods
From _her_ Ma`s house. So when Red Riding Hood
She dit to do there, allus have most fun--
When she do frough the drate big woods, you know.--
`Cause she ain`t feared a bit o` anything!
An` so she sees the little hoppty-birds
`At`s in the trees, an` flyin` all around,
An` singin` dlad as ef their parunts said
They`ll take `em to the magic-lantern show!
An` she `ud pull the purty flowers an` things
A-growin` round the stumps--An` she `ud ketch
The purty butterflies, an` drasshoppers,
An` stick pins frough `em--No!--I ist _said_ that!--
`Cause she`s too dood an` kind an` `bedient
To _hurt_ things thataway.--She`d _ketch_ `em, though,
An` ist _play_ wiv `em ist a little while,
An` nen she`d let `em fly away, she would,
An` ist skip on adin to her Dran`ma`s.

An` so, while she uz doin` `long an` `long,
First thing you know they `uz a drate big old
Mean wicked Wolf jumped out `at wanted t` eat
Her up, but _dassent_ to--`cause wite clos`t there
They wuz a Man a-choppin` wood, an` you
Could _hear_ him.--So the old Wolf he `uz _`feared_
Only to ist be _kind_ to her.--So he
Ist `tended like he wuz dood friends to her
An` says "Dood-morning, little Red Riding Hood!"--
All ist as kind!

                    An` nen Riding Hood
She say "Dood-morning," too--all kind an` nice--
Ist like her Ma she learn`--No!--mustn`t say
"Learn," cause "_Learn_" it`s unproper.--So she say
It like her _Ma_ she "_teached_" her.--An`--so she
Ist says "Dood-morning" to the Wolf--`cause she
Don`t know ut-tall `at he`s a _wicked_ Wolf
An` want to eat her up!

                    Nen old Wolf smile
An` say, so kind: "Where air you doin` at?"
Nen little Red Riding Hood she says: "I`m doin`
To my Dran`ma`s, `cause my Ma say I might."
Nen, when she tell him that, the old Wolf he
Ist turn an` light out frough the big thick woods,
Where she can`t see him any more. An so
She think he`s went to _his_ house--but he haint,--
He`s went to her Dran`ma`s, to be there first--
An` _ketch_ her, ef she don`t watch mighty sharp
What she`s about!

                    An` nen when the old Wolf
Dit to her Dran`ma`s house, he`s purty smart,--
An` so he `tend-like _he`s_ Red Riding Hood,
An` knock at th` door. An` Riding Hood`s Dran`ma
She`s sick in bed an` can`t come to the door
An` open it. So th` old Wolf knock _two_ times.
An` nen Red Riding Hood`s Dran`ma she says
"Who`s there?" she says. An` old Wolf `tends-like he`s
Little Red Riding Hood, you know, an` make`
His voice soun` ist like hers, an` says: "It`s me,
Dran`ma--an` I`m Red Riding Hood an` I`m
Ist come to see you."

                    Nen her old Dran`ma
She think it _is_ little Red Riding Hood,
An` so she say: "Well, come in nen an` make
You`se`f at home," she says, "`cause I`m down sick
In bed, and got the `ralgia, so`s I can`t
Dit up an` let ye in."

                    An` so th` old Wolf
Ist march` in nen an` shet the door adin,
An` _drowl_, he did, an` _splunge_ up on the bed
An` et up old Miz Riding Hood `fore she
Could put her specs on an` see who it wuz.--
An` so she never knowed _who_ et her up!

An` nen the wicked Wolf he ist put on
Her nightcap, an` all covered up in bed--
Like he wuz _her_, you know.

                    Nen, purty soon
Here come along little Red Riding Hood,
An` _she_ knock` at the door. An` old Wolf `tend
Like _he`s_ her Dran`ma; an` he say, "Who`s there?"
Ist like her Dran`ma say, you know. An` so
Little Red Riding Hood she say "It`s _me_,
Dran`ma--an` I`m Red Riding Hood and I`m
Ist come to _see_ you."

                    An` nen old Wolf nen
He cough an` say: "Well, come in nen an` make
You`se`f at home," he says, "`cause I`m down sick
In bed, an` got the `ralgia, so`s I can`t
Dit up an` let ye in."

                    An` so she think
It`s her Dran`ma a-talkin`.--So she ist
Open` the door an` come in, an` set down
Her basket, an` taked off her things, an` bringed
A chair an` clumbed up on the bed, wite by
The old big Wolf she thinks is her Dran`ma.--
Only she thinks the old Wolf`s dot whole lots
More bigger ears, an` lots more whiskers, too,
Than her Dran`ma; an` so Red Riding Hood
She`s kindo` skeered a little. So she says
"Oh, Dran`ma, what _big eyes_ you dot!" An` nen
The old Wolf says: "They`re ist big thataway
`Cause I`m so dlad to see you!"

                    Nen she says,--
"Oh, Dran`ma, what a drate big nose you dot!"
Nen th` old Wolf says: "It`s ist big thataway
Ist `cause I smell the dood things `at you bringed
Me in the basket!"

                    An` nen Riding Hood
She say "Oh-me-oh-_my_! Dran`ma! what big
White long sharp teeth you dot!"

                    Nen old Wolf says:
"Yes--an` they`re thataway," he says--an` drowled--
"They`re thataway," he says, "to _eat_ you wiv!"
An` nen he ist _jump_` at her.--

                    But she _scream_`--
An` _scream_`, she did--So`s `at the Man
`At wuz a-choppin` wood, you know,--_he_ hear,
An` come a-runnin` in there wiv his ax;
An`, `fore the old Wolf know` what he`s about,
He split his old brains out an` killed him s`quick
It make` his head swim!--An` Red Riding Hood
She wuzn`t hurt at all!

                    An` the big Man
He tooked her all safe home, he did, an` tell
Her Ma she`s all right an` ain`t hurt at all
An` old Wolf`s dead an` killed--an` ever`thing!--
So her Ma wuz so tickled an` so proud,
She divved _him_ all the dood things t` eat they wuz
`At`s in the basket, an` she tell him `at
She`s much oblige`, an` say to "call adin."
An` story`s honest _truth_--an` all _so_, too!
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