---

James Whitcomb Riley - "Mylo Jones`s Wife"
Work rating: Low

"Mylo Jones`s wife" was all
I heerd, mighty near, last Fall--
Visitun relations down
T`other side of Morgantown!
Mylo Jones`s wife she does
This and that, and "those" and "thus"!--
Can`t `bide babies in her sight--
Ner no childern, day and night,
Whoopin` round the premises--
NER NO NOTHIN` ELSE, I guess!

Mylo Jones`s wife she `lows
She`s the boss of her own house!--
Mylo--consequences is--
Stays whare things seem SOME like HIS,--
Uses, mostly, with the stock--
Coaxin` "Old Kate" not to balk,
Ner kick hoss-flies` branes out, ner
Act, I s`pose, so much like HER!
Yit the wimmern-folks tells you
She`s PERFECTION.--Yes they do!

Mylo`s wife she says she`s found
Home hain`t home with MEN-FOLKS round
When they`s work like HERN to do-
Picklin` pears and BUTCHERN, too,
And a-rendern lard, and then
Cookin` fer a pack of men
To come trackin` up the flore
SHE`S scrubbed TEL she`ll scrub no MORE!--
Yit she`d keep things clean ef they
Made her scrub tel Jedgmunt Day!

Mylo Jones`s wife she sews
Carpet-rags and patches clothes
Jest year IN and OUT!--and yit
Whare`s the livin` use of it?
She asts Mylo that.--And he
Gits back whare he`d ruther be,
With his team;--jest PLOWS--and don`t
Never sware--like some folks won`t!
Think ef HE`D CUT LOOSE, I gum!
`D he`p his heavenly chances some!

Mylo`s wife don`t see no use,
Ner no reason ner excuse
Fer his pore relations to
Hang round like they allus do!
Thare `bout onc`t a year--and SHE--
She jest GA`NTS `em, folks tells me,
On spiced pears!--Pass Mylo one,
He says "No, he don`t chuse none!"
Workin`men like Mylo they
`D ort to have MEAT ev`ry day!

Dad-burn Mylo Jones`s wife!
Ruther rake a blame caseknife
`Crost my wizzen than to see
Sich a womern rulin` ME!--
Ruther take and turn in and
Raise a fool mule-colt by hand`
MYLO, though--od-rot the man!--
Jest keeps ca`m--like some folks CAN--
And `lows sich as her, I s`pose,
Is MAN`S HE`PMEET`--Mercy knows!
Source
The script ran 0.003 seconds.