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James Whitcomb Riley - A Bear Family
Work rating: Low

Wunst, `way West in Illinoise,
  Wuz two Bears an` their two boys:
  An` the two boys` names, you know,
  Wuz--like _ours_ is,--Jim an` Jo;
  An` their _parunts`_ names wuz same`s,
  All big grown-up people`s names,--
  Ist _Miz_ Bear, the neighbers call
  `Em, an` _Mister_ Bear--`at`s all.
  Yes--an` Miz Bear scold him, too,
  Ist like grown folks _shouldn`t_ do!

  Wuz a grea`-big river there,
  An`, `crosst that, `s a mountain where
  Old Bear said some day he`d go,
  Ef she don`t quit scoldin`so!
  So, one day when he been down
  The river, fishin`, `most to town,
  An` come back `thout no fish a-tall,
  An` Jim an` Jo they run an` bawl
  An` tell their ma their pa hain`t fetch`
  No fish,--she scold again an` ketch
  Her old broom up an` biff him, too.--

  An` he ist cry, an` say, "_Boo-hoo_!
  I _told_ you what I `d do some day`."
  An` he ist turned an` runned away
  To where`s the grea`-big river there,
  An` ist _splunged_ in an` swum to where
  The mountain`s at, `way th`other side,
  An` clumbed up there. An` Miz Bear _cried_--
  An` little Jo an` little Jim--
  Ist like their ma--bofe cried fer him!--
  But he clumbed on, _clean out o` sight_,
  He wuz so mad!--An` served `em right!

  Nen--when the Bear got `way on top
  The mountain, he heerd somepin` flop
  Its wings--an` somepin` else he heerd
  A-rattlin`-like.--An` he wuz _skeerd_,
  An` looked `way up, an`--_Mercy sake!_--

  It wuz a` Eagul an` a SNAKE!
  An`-sir! the Snake, he bite an` kill`
  The Eagul, an` they bofe fall till
  They strike the ground--_k`spang-k`spat!_--
  Wite where the Bear wuz standin` at!
  An` when here come the Snake at him,
  The Bear he think o` little Jim
  An` Jo, he did--an` their ma, too,--
  All safe at home; an` he ist flew
  Back down the mountain--an` could hear
  The old Snake rattlin`, sharp an` clear,
  Wite clos`t behind!--An` Bear he`s so
  All tired out, by time, you know,
  He git down to the river there,
  He know` he can`t _swim_ back to where
  His folks is at. But ist wite nen
  He see a boat an` six big men

  `At`s been a-shootin` ducks: An` so
  He skeerd them out the boat, you know,
  An` ist jumped in--an` Snake _he_ tried
  To jump in, too, but failed outside
  Where all the water wuz; an` so
  The Bear grabs one the things you row
  The boat wiv an` ist whacks the head
  Of the old Snake an` kills him dead!--

  An` when he`s killed him dead, w`y, nen
  _The old Snake`s drownded dead again_!
  Nen Bear set in the boat an` bowed
  His back an` rowed--an` rowed--an` rowed--
  Till he`s safe home--so tired he can`t
  Do nothin` but lay there an` pant
  An` tell his childern, "Bresh my coat!"
  An` tell his wife, "Go chain my boat!"
  An` they`re so glad he`s back, they say
  "They _knowed_ he`s comin` thataway
  To ist surprise the dear ones there!"
  An` Jim an` Jo they dried his hair

  An` pulled the burrs out; an` their ma
  She ist set there an` helt his paw
  Till he wuz sound asleep, an` nen
  She tell` him she won`t scold again--
      Never--never--never--
      Ferever an` ferever!
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