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James Whitcomb Riley - Our Hired Girl
Work rating: Low

Our hired girl, she`s `Lizabuth Ann; 
       An` she can cook best things to eat! 
     She ist puts dough in our pie-pan, 
       An` pours in somepin` `at`s good an` sweet; 
     An` nen she salts it all on top 
     With cinnamon; an` nen she`ll stop 
       An` stoop an` slide it, ist as slow, 
     In th` old cook-stove, so`s `twon`t slop 
       An` git all spilled; nen bakes it, so 
      It`s custard-pie, first thing you know! 
          An` nen she`ll say, 
          "Clear out o` my way! 
      They`s time fer work, an` time fer play! 
        Take yer dough, an` run, child, run! 
        Er I cain`t git no cookin` done!" 
    When our hired girl `tends like she`s mad, 
      An` says folks got to walk the chalk 
    When she`s around, er wisht they had! 
      I play out on our porch an` talk 
    To Th` Raggedy Man `at mows our lawn; 
    An` he says, "Whew!" an` nen leans on 
      His old crook-scythe, and blinks his eyes, 
    An` sniffs all `round an` says, "I swawn! 
      Ef my old nose don`t tell me lies, 
      It `pears like I smell custard-pies!" 
          An` nen he`ll say, 
          "Clear out o` my way! 
      They`s time fer work, an` time fer play! 
        Take yer dough, an` run, child, run! 
        Er she cain`t git no cookin` done!" 
    Wunst our hired girl, when she 
      Got the supper, an` we all et, 
    An` it wuz night, an` Ma an` me 
      An` Pa went wher` the "Social" met, — 
    An` nen when we come home, an` see 
    A light in the kitchen door, an` we 
      Heerd a maccordeun, Pa says, "Lan`- 
    O`-Gracious! who can her beau be?" 
      An` I marched in, an` `Lizabuth Ann 
      Wuz parchin` corn fer The Raggedy Man! 
          Better say, 
          "Clear out o` the way! 
      They`s time fer work, an` time fer play! 
        Take the hint, an` run, child, run! 
        Er we cain`t git no courtin` done!"
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