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James Whitcomb Riley - The Raggedy Man
Work rating: Low

O the Raggedy Man! He works fer Pa; 
     An` he`s the goodest man ever you saw! 
     He comes to our house every day, 
     An` waters the horses, an` feeds `em hay; 
     An` he opens the shed — an` we all ist laugh 
     When he drives out our little old wobble-ly calf; 
     An` nen — ef our hired girl says he can — 
     He milks the cow fer `Lizabuth Ann. — 
       Ain`t he a` awful good Raggedy Man? 
        Raggedy! Raggedy! Raggedy Man! 
    W`y, The Raggedy Man — he`s ist so good, 
    He splits the kindlin` an` chops the wood; 
    An` nen he spades in our garden, too, 
    An` does most things `at boys can`t do. — 
    He clumbed clean up in our big tree 
    An` shooked a` apple down fer me — 
    An` `nother `n`, too, fer `Lizabuth Ann — 
    An` `nother `n`, too, fer The Raggedy Man. — 
      Ain`t he a` awful kind Raggedy Man? 
        Raggedy! Raggedy! Raggedy Man! 
    An` The Raggedy Man one time say he 
    Pick` roast` rambos from a` orchurd-tree, 
    An` et `em — all ist roast` an` hot! — 
    An` it`s so, too! — `cause a corn-crib got 
    Afire one time an` all burn` down 
    On "The Smoot Farm," `bout four mile from town — 
    On "The Smoot Farm"! Yes — an` the hired han` 
    `At worked there nen `uz The Raggedy Man! — 
      Ain`t he the beatin`est Raggedy Man? 
        Raggedy! Raggedy! Raggedy Man! 
    The Raggedy Man`s so good an` kind 
    He`ll be our "horsey," an` "haw" an` mind 
    Ever`thing `at you make him do — 
    An` won`t run off — `less you want him to! 
    I drived him wunst way down our lane 
    An` he got skeered, when it `menced to rain, 
    An` ist rared up an` squealed and run 
    Purt` nigh away! — an` it`s all in fun! 
    Nen he skeered ag`in at a` old tin can… 
      Whoa! y` old runaway Raggedy Man! 
        Raggedy! Raggedy! Raggedy Man! 
    An` The Raggedy Man, he knows most rhymes, 
    An` tells `em, ef I be good, sometimes: 
    Knows `bout Giunts, an` Griffuns, an` Elves, 
    An` the Squidgicum-Squees `at swallers the`rselves: 
    An`, wite by the pump in our pasture-lot, 
    He showed me the hole `at the Wunks is got, 
    `At lives `way deep in the ground, an` can 
    Turn into me, er `Lizabuth Ann! 
    Er Ma, er Pa, er The Raggedy Man! 
      Ain`t he a funny old Raggedy Man? 
        Raggedy! Raggedy! Raggedy Man! 
    An` wunst, when The Raggedy Man come late, 
    An` pigs ist root` thue the garden-gate, 
    He `tend like the pigs `uz bears an` said, 
    "Old Bear-shooter`ll shoot `em dead!" 
    An` race` an` chase` `em, an` they`d ist run 
    When he pint his hoe at `em like it`s a gun 
    An` go "Bang! — Bang!" nen `tend he stan` 
    An` load up his gun ag`in! Raggedy Man! 
      He`s an old Bear-shooter Raggedy Man! 
        Raggedy! Raggedy! Raggedy Man! 
    An` sometimes The Raggedy Man lets on 
    We`re little prince-children, an` old King`s gone 
    To git more money, an` lef` us there — 
    And Robbers is ist thick ever`where; 
    An` nen — ef we all won`t cry, fer shore — 
    The Raggedy Man he`ll come and "`splore 
    The Castul-halls," an` steal the "gold" — 
    An` steal us, too, an` grab an` hold 
    An` pack us off to his old "Cave"! — An` 
      Haymow`s the "cave" o` The Raggedy Man! — 
        Raggedy! Raggedy! Raggedy Man! 
    The Raggedy Man — one time, when he 
    Wuz makin` a little bow-`n`-orry fer me, 
    Says "When you`re big like your Pa is, 
    Air you go` to keep a fine store like his — 
    An` be a rich merchunt — an` wear fine clothes? — 
    Er what air you go` to be, goodness knows?" 
    An` nen he laughed at `Lizabuth Ann, 
    An` I says "`M go` to be a Raggedy Man! — 
      I`m ist go` to be a nice Raggedy Man!" 
        Raggedy! Raggedy! Raggedy Man!
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