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Coventry Patmore - The Victories Of Love. Book IICoventry Patmore - The Victories Of Love. Book II
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I From Jane To Her Mother               Thank Heaven, the burthens on the heart               Are not half known till they depart!               Although I long`d, for many a year,               To love with love that casts out fear,               My Frederick`s kindness frighten`d me,               And heaven seem`d less far off than he;               And in my fancy I would trace               A lady with an angel`s face,               That made devotion simply debt,               Till sick with envy and regret,               And wicked grief that God should e`er               Make women, and not make them fair.               That he might love me more because               Another in his memory was,               And that my indigence might be               To him what Baby`s was to me,               The chief of charms, who could have thought?               But God`s wise way is to give nought               Till we with asking it are tired;               And when, indeed, the change desired               Comes, lest we give ourselves the praise,               It comes by Providence, not Grace;               And mostly our thanks for granted pray`rs               Are groans at unexpected cares.                  First Baby went to heaven, you know,               And, five weeks after, Grace went, too.               Then he became more talkative,               And, stooping to my heart, would give               Signs of his love, which pleased me more               Than all the proofs he gave before;               And, in that time of our great grief,               We talk`d religion for relief;               For, though we very seldom name               Religion, we now think the same!               Oh, what a bar is thus removed               To loving and to being loved!               For no agreement really is               In anything when none`s in this.               Why, Mother, once, if Frederick press`d               His wife against his hearty breast,               The interior difference seem`d to tear               My own, until I could not bear               The trouble. `Twas a dreadful strife,               And show`d, indeed, that faith is life.               He never felt this. If he did,               I`m sure it could not have been hid;               For wives, I need not say to you,               Can feel just what their husbands do,               Without a word or look; but then               It is not so, you know, with men.               From that time many a Scripture text               Help`d me, which had, before, perplex`d.               Oh, what a wond`rous word seem`d this:               He is my head, as Christ is his!               None ever could have dared to see               In marriage such a dignity               For man, and for his wife, still less,               Such happy, happy lowliness,               Had God Himself not made it plain!               This revelation lays the rein—                   If I may speak so—on the neck               Of a wife`s love, takes thence the check               Of conscience, and forbids to doubt               Its measure is to be without               All measure, and a fond excess               Is here her rule of godliness.               I took him not for love but fright;               He did but ask a dreadful right.               In this was love, that he loved me               The first, who was mere poverty.               All that I know of love he taught;               And love is all I know of aught.               My merit is so small by his,               That my demerit is my bliss.               My life is hid with him in Christ,               Never thencefrom to be enticed;               And in his strength have I such rest               As when the baby on my breast               Finds what it knows not how to seek,               And, very happy, very weak,               Lies, only knowing all is well,               Pillow`d on kindness palpable. II From Lady Clitheroe To Mary Churchill               Dear Saint, I`m still at High-Hurst Park.               The house is fill`d with folks of mark.               Honoria suits a good estate               Much better than I hoped. How fate               Loads her with happiness and pride!               And such a loving lord, beside!                  But between us, Sweet, everything               Has limits, and to build a wing               To this old house, when Courtholm stands               Empty upon his Berkshire lands,               And all that Honor might be near               Papa, was buying love too dear.               With twenty others, there are two               Guests here, whose names will startle you:               Mr. and Mrs. Frederick Graham!               I thought he stay`d away for shame.               He and his wife were ask`d, you know,                 And would not come, four years ago.                 You recollect Miss Smythe found out                 Who she had been, and all about                 Her people at the Powder-mill;                 And how the fine Aunt tried to instil                 Haut ton, and how, at last poor Jane                 Had got so shy and gauche that, when                 The Dockyard gentry came to sup,                 She always had to be lock`d up;                 And some one wrote to us and said                 Her mother was a kitchen-maid.                 Dear Mary, you`ll be charm`d to know                 It must be all a fib. But, oh,                 She is the oddest little Pet                 On which my eyes were ever set!                 She`s so outrée and natural                 That, when she first arrived, we all                 Wonder`d, as when a robin comes                 In through the window to eat crumbs                 At breakfast with us. She has sense,                 Humility, and confidence;                 And, save in dressing just a thought                 Gayer in colours than she ought,                 (To-day she looks a cross between                 Gipsy and Fairy, red and green,)                    She always happens to do well.                 And yet one never quite can tell                 What she might do or utter next.                 Lord Clitheroe is much perplex`d.                 Her husband, every now and then,                 Looks nervous; all the other men                 Are charm`d. Yet she has neither grace,                 Nor one good feature in her face.                 Her eyes, indeed, flame in her head,                 Like very altar-fires to Fred,                 Whose steps she follows everywhere                 Like a tame duck, to the despair                 Of Colonel Holmes, who does his part                 To break her funny little heart.                 Honor`s enchanted. `Tis her view                 That people, if they`re good and true,                 And treated well, and let alone,                 Will kindly take to what`s their own,                 And always be original,                 Like children. Honor`s just like all                 The rest of us! But, thinking so,                 `Tis well she miss`d Lord Clitheroe,                 Who hates originality,                 Though he puts up with it in me.                 Poor Mrs. Graham has never been                 To the Opera! You should have seen                 The innocent way she told the Earl                 She thought Plays sinful when a girl,                 And now she never had a chance!                 Frederick`s complacent smile and glance                 Towards her, show`d me, past a doubt,                 Honoria had been quite cut out.                 `Tis very strange; for Mrs. Graham,                 Though Frederick`s fancy none can blame,                 Seems the last woman you`d have thought                 Her lover would have ever sought.                    She never reads, I find, nor goes                 Anywhere; so that I suppose                 She got at all she ever knew                 By growing up, as kittens do.                 Talking of kittens, by-the-bye,                 You have more influence than I                 With dear Honoria. Get her, Dear,                 To be a little more severe                 With those sweet Children. They`ve the run                 Of all the place. When school was done,                 Maud burst in, while the Earl was there,                 With ‘Oh, Mama, do be a bear!’                 Do you know, Dear, this odd wife of Fred                 Adores his old Love in his stead!                 She is so nice, yet, I should say,                 Not quite the thing for every day.                 Wonders are wearying! Felix goes                 Next Sunday with her to the Close,                 And you will judge.                 Honoria asks                 All Wiltshire Belles here; Felix basks                 Like Puss in fire-shine, when the room                 Is thus aflame with female bloom.                 But then she smiles when most would pout;                 And so his lawless loves go out                 With the last brocade. `Tis not the same,                 I fear, with Mrs. Frederick Graham.                 Honoria should not have her here,—                 And this you might just hint, my Dear,—                 For Felix says he never saw                 Such proof of what he holds for law,                 That ‘beauty is love which can be seen.’                 Whatever he by this may mean,                 Were it not dreadful if he fell                 In love with her on principle! III From Jane To Mrs. Graham                 Mother, I told you how, at first,                 I fear`d this visit to the Hurst.                 Fred must, I felt, be so distress`d                 By aught in me unlike the rest                 Who come here. But I find the place                 Delightful; there`s such ease, and grace,                 And kindness, and all seem to be                 On such a high equality.                 They have not got to think, you know,                 How far to make the money go.                 But Frederick says it`s less the expense                 Of money, than of sound good-sense,                 Quickness to care what others feel,                 And thoughts with nothing to conceal;                 Which I`ll teach Johnny. Mrs. Vaughan                 Was waiting for us on the Lawn,                 And kiss`d and call`d me ‘Cousin.’ Fred                 Neglected his old friends, she said.                 He laugh`d, and colour`d up at this.                 She was, you know, a flame of his;                 But I`m not jealous! Luncheon done,                 I left him, who had just begun                 To talk about the Russian War                 With an old Lady, Lady Carr,—                 A Countess, but I`m more afraid,                 A great deal, of the Lady`s Maid,—                 And went with Mrs. Vaughan to see                 The pictures, which appear`d to be                    Of sorts of horses, clowns, and cows                 Call`d Wouvermans and Cuyps and Dows.                 And then she took me up, to show                 Her bedroom, where, long years ago,                 A Queen slept. `Tis all tapestries                 Of Cupids, Gods, and Goddesses,                 And black, carved oak. A curtain`d door                 Leads thence into her soft Boudoir,                 Where even her husband may but come                 By favour. He, too, has his room,                 Kept sacred to his solitude.                 Did I not think the plan was good?                 She ask`d me; but I said how small                 Our house was, and that, after all,                 Though Frederick would not say his prayers                 At night till I was safe upstairs,                 I thought it wrong to be so shy                 Of being good when I was by.                 ‘Oh, you should humour him!’ she said,                 With her sweet voice and smile; and led                 The way to where the children ate                 Their dinner, and Miss Williams sate.                 She`s only Nursery-Governess,                 Yet they consider her no less                 Than Lord or Lady Carr, or me.                 Just think how happy she must be!                 The Ball-Room, with its painted sky                 Where heavy angels seem to fly,                 Is a dull place; its size and gloom                 Make them prefer, for drawing-room,                 The Library, all done up new                 And comfortable, with a view                 Of Salisbury Spire between the boughs.                 When she had shown me through the house,                 (I wish I could have let her know                 That she herself was half the show;                    She is so handsome, and so kind!)                 She fetch`d the children, who had dined;                 And, taking one in either hand,                 Show`d me how all the grounds were plann`d.                 The lovely garden gently slopes                 To where a curious bridge of ropes                 Crosses the Avon to the Park.                 We rested by the stream, to mark                 The brown backs of the hovering trout.                 Frank tickled one, and took it out                 From under a stone. We saw his owls,                 And awkward Cochin-China fowls,                 And shaggy pony in the croft;                 And then he dragg`d us to a loft,                 Where pigeons, as he push`d the door,                 Fann`d clear a breadth of dusty floor,                 And set us coughing. I confess                 I trembled for my nice silk dress.                 I cannot think how Mrs. Vaughan                 Ventured with that which she had on,—                 A mere white wrapper, with a few                 Plain trimmings of a quiet blue,                 But, oh, so pretty! Then the bell                 For dinner rang. I look`d quite well                 (‘Quite charming,’ were the words Fred said,)                 With the new gown that I`ve had made.                 I am so proud of Frederick.                 He`s so high-bred and lordly-like                 With Mrs. Vaughan! He`s not quite so                 At home with me; but that, you know,                 I can`t expect, or wish. `Twould hurt,                 And seem to mock at my desert.                 Not but that I`m a duteous wife                 To Fred; but, in another life,                 Where all are fair that have been true                 I hope I shall be graceful too,                    Like Mrs. Vaughan. And, now, good-bye!                 That happy thought has made me cry,                 And feel half sorry that my cough,                 In this fine air, is leaving off. IV From Frederick To Mrs. Graham                 Honoria, trebly fair and mild                 With added loves of lord and child,                 Is else unalter`d. Years, which wrong                 The rest, touch not her beauty, young                 With youth which rather seems her clime,                 Than aught that`s relative to time.                 How beyond hope was heard the prayer                 I offer`d in my love`s despair!                 Could any, whilst there`s any woe,                 Be wholly blest, then she were so.                 She is, and is aware of it,                 Her husband`s endless benefit;                 But, though their daily ways reveal                 The depth of private joy they feel,                 `Tis not their bearing each to each                 That does abroad their secret preach,                 But such a lovely good-intent                 To all within their government                 And friendship as, `tis well discern`d,                 Each of the other must have learn`d;                 For no mere dues of neighbourhood                 Ever begot so blest a mood.                    And fair, indeed, should be the few                 God dowers with nothing else to do,                 And liberal of their light, and free                 To show themselves, that all may see!                 For alms let poor men poorly give                 The meat whereby men`s bodies live;                 But they of wealth are stewards wise                 Whose graces are their charities.                 The sunny charm about this home                 Makes all to shine who thither come.                 My own dear Jane has caught its grace,                 And, honour`d, honours too the place.                 Across the lawn I lately walk`d                 Alone, and watch`d where mov`d and talk`d,                 Gentle and goddess-like of air,                 Honoria and some Stranger fair.                 I chose a path unblest by these;                 When one of the two Goddesses,                 With my Wife`s voice, but softer, said,                 ‘Will you not walk with us, dear Fred?’                 She moves, indeed, the modest peer                 Of all the proudest ladies here.                 Unawed she talks with men who stand                 Among the leaders of the land,                 And women beautiful and wise,                 With England`s greatness in their eyes.                 To high, traditional good-sense,                 And knowledge ripe without pretence,                 And human truth exactly hit                 By quiet and conclusive wit,                 Listens my little, homely Dove,                 Mistakes the points and laughs for love;                 And, after, stands and combs her hair,                 And calls me much the wittiest there!                 With reckless loyalty, dear Wife,                 She lays herself about my life!                    The joy I might have had of yore                 I have not; for `tis now no more,                 With me, the lyric time of youth,                 And sweet sensation of the truth.                 Yet, past my hope or purpose bless`d,                 In my chance choice let be confess`d                 The tenderer Providence that rules                 The fates of children and of fools!                 I kiss`d the kind, warm neck that slept,                 And from her side this morning stepp`d,                 To bathe my brain from drowsy night                 In the sharp air and golden light.                 The dew, like frost, was on the pane.                 The year begins, though fair, to wane.                 There is a fragrance in its breath                 Which is not of the flowers, but death;                 And green above the ground appear                 The lilies of another year.                 I wander`d forth, and took my path                 Among the bloomless aftermath;                 And heard the steadfast robin sing                 As if his own warm heart were Spring,                 And watch`d him feed where, on the yew,                 Hung honey`d drops of crimson dew;                 And then return`d, by walls of peach,                 And pear-trees bending to my reach,                 And rose-beds with the roses gone,                 To bright-laid breakfast. Mrs. Vaughan                 Was there, none with her. I confess                 I love her than of yore no less!                 But she alone was loved of old;                 Now love is twain, nay, manifold;                 For, somehow, he whose daily life                 Adjusts itself to one true wife,                 Grows to a nuptial, near degree                 With all that`s fair and womanly.                    Therefore, as more than friends, we met,                 Without constraint, without regret;                 The wedded yoke that each had donn`d                 Seeming a sanction, not a bond. V From Mrs. Graham                 Your love lacks joy, your letter says.                 Yes; love requires the focal space                 Of recollection or of hope,                 Ere it can measure its own scope.                 Too soon, too soon comes Death to show                 We love more deeply than we know!                 The rain, that fell upon the height                 Too gently to be call`d delight,                 Within the dark vale reappears                 As a wild cataract of tears;                 And love in life should strive to see                 Sometimes what love in death would be!                 Easier to love, we so should find,                 It is than to be just and kind.                 She`s gone: shut close the coffin-lid:                 What distance for another did                 That death has done for her! The good,                 Once gazed upon with heedless mood,                 Now fills with tears the famish`d eye,                 And turns all else to vanity.                 `Tis sad to see, with death between,                 The good we have pass`d and have not seen!                 How strange appear the words of all!                 The looks of those that live appal.                    They are the ghosts, and check the breath:                 There`s no reality but death,                 And hunger for some signal given                 That we shall have our own in heaven.                 But this the God of love lets be                 A horrible uncertainty.                 How great her smallest virtue seems,                 How small her greatest fault! Ill dreams                 Were those that foil`d with loftier grace                 The homely kindness of her face.                 `Twas here she sat and work`d, and there                 She comb`d and kiss`d the children`s hair;                 Or, with one baby at her breast,                 Another taught, or hush`d to rest.                 Praise does the heart no more refuse                 To the chief loveliness of use.                 Her humblest good is hence most high                 In the heavens of fond memory;                 And Love says Amen to the word,                 A prudent wife is from the Lord.                 Her worst gown`s kept, (`tis now the best,                 As that in which she oftenest dress`d,)                 For memory`s sake more precious grown                 Than she herself was for her own.                 Poor child! foolish it seem`d to fly                 To sobs instead of dignity,                 When she was hurt. Now, more than all,                 Heart-rending and angelical                 That ignorance of what to do,                 Bewilder`d still by wrong from you:                 For what man ever yet had grace                 Ne`er to abuse his power and place?                 No magic of her voice or smile                 Suddenly raised a fairy isle,                 But fondness for her underwent                 An unregarded increment,                    Like that which lifts, through centuries,                 The coral-reef within the seas,                 Till, lo! the land where was the wave,                 Alas! `tis everywhere her grave. VI From Jane To Mrs. Graham                 Dear Mother, I can surely tell,                 Now, that I never shall get well.                 Besides the warning in my mind,                 All suddenly are grown so kind.                 Fred stopp`d the Doctor, yesterday,                 Downstairs, and, when he went away,                 Came smiling back, and sat with me,                 Pale, and conversing cheerfully                 About the Spring, and how my cough,                 In finer weather, would leave off.                 I saw it all, and told him plain                 I felt no hope of Spring again.                 Then he, after a word of jest,                 Burst into tears upon my breast,                 And own`d, when he could speak, he knew                 There was a little danger, too.                 This made me very weak and ill,                 And while, last night, I lay quite still,                 And, as he fancied, in the deep,                 Exhausted rest of my short sleep,                 I heard, or dream`d I heard him pray:                 ‘Oh, Father, take her not away!                 ‘Let not life`s dear assurance lapse                 ‘Into death`s agonised "Perhaps,"                     ‘A hope without Thy promise, where                 ‘Less than assurance is despair!                 ‘Give me some sign, if go she must,                 ‘That death`s not worse than dust to dust,                 ‘Not heaven, on whose oblivious shore                 ‘Joy I may have, but her no more!                 ‘The bitterest cross, it seems to me,                 ‘Of all is infidelity;                 ‘And so, if I may choose, I`ll miss                 ‘The kind of heaven which comes to this.                 ‘If doom`d, indeed, this fever ceased,                 ‘To die out wholly, like a beast,                 ‘Forgetting all life`s ill success                 ‘In dark and peaceful nothingness,                 ‘I could but say, Thy will be done;                 ‘For, dying thus, I were but one                 ‘Of seed innumerable which ne`er                 ‘In all the worlds shall bloom or bear.                 ‘I`ve put life past to so poor use                 ‘Well may`st Thou life to come refuse;                 ‘And justice, which the spirit contents,                 ‘Shall still in me all vain laments;                 ‘Nay, pleased, I will, while yet I live,                 ‘Think Thou my forfeit joy may`st give                 ‘To some fresh life, else unelect,                 ‘And heaven not feel my poor defect!                 ‘Only let not Thy method be                 ‘To make that life, and call it me;                 ‘Still less to sever mine in twain,                 ‘And tell each half to live again,                 ‘And count itself the whole! To die,                 ‘Is it love`s disintegrity?                 ‘Answer me, "No," and I, with grace,                 ‘Will life`s brief desolation face,                 ‘My ways, as native to the clime,                 ‘Adjusting to the wintry time,                    ‘Ev`n with a patient cheer thereof—’                 He started up, hearing me cough.                 Oh, Mother, now my last doubt`s gone!                 He likes me more than Mrs. Vaughan;                 And death, which takes me from his side,                 Shows me, in very deed, his bride! VII From Jane To Frederick                 I leave this, Dear, for you to read,                 For strength and hope, when I am dead.                 When Grace died, I was so perplex`d,                 I could not find one helpful text;                 And when, a little while before,                 I saw her sobbing on the floor,                 Because I told her that in heaven                 She would be as the angels even,                 And would not want her doll, `tis true                 A horrible fear within me grew,                 That, since the preciousness of love                 Went thus for nothing, mine might prove                 To be no more, and heaven`s bliss                 Some dreadful good which is not this.                 But being about to die makes clear                 Many dark things. I have no fear,                 Now, that my love, my grief, my joy                 Is but a passion for a toy.                 I cannot speak at all, I find,                 The shining something in my mind,                 That shows so much that, if I took                 My thoughts all down, `twould make a book.                    God`s Word, which lately seem`d above                 The simpleness of human love,                 To my death-sharpen`d hearing tells                 Of little or of nothing else;                 And many things I hoped were true,                 When first they came, like songs, from you,                 Now rise with witness past the reach                 Of doubt, and I to you can teach,                 As if with felt authority                 And as things seen, what you taught me.                 Yet how? I have no words but those                 Which every one already knows:                 As, ‘No man hath at any time                 ‘Seen God, but `tis the love of Him                 ‘Made perfect, and He dwells in us,                 ‘If we each other love.’ Or thus,                 ‘My goodness misseth in extent                 ‘Of Thee, Lord! In the excellent                 ‘I know Thee; and the Saints on Earth                 ‘Make all my love and holy mirth.’                 And further, ‘Inasmuch as ye                 ‘Did it to one of these, to Me                 ‘Ye did it, though ye nothing thought                 ‘Nor knew of Me, in that ye wrought.’                 What shall I dread? Will God undo                 Our bond, which is all others too?                 And when I meet you will you say                 To my reclaiming looks, ‘Away!                 ‘A dearer love my bosom warms                 ‘With higher rights and holier charms.                 ‘The children, whom thou here may`st see,                 ‘Neighbours that mingle thee and me,                 ‘And gaily on impartial lyres                 ‘Renounce the foolish filial fires                 ‘They felt, with "Praise to God on high,                 ‘"Goodwill to all else equally;"                     ‘The trials, duties, service, tears;                 ‘The many fond, confiding years                 ‘Of nearness sweet with thee apart;                 ‘The joy of body, mind, and heart;                 ‘The love that grew a reckless growth,                 ‘Unmindful that the marriage-oath                 ‘To love in an eternal style                 ‘Meant—only for a little while:                 ‘Sever`d are now those bonds earth-wrought:                 ‘All love, not new, stands here for nought!’                 Why, it seems almost wicked, Dear,                 Even to utter such a fear!                 Are we not ‘heirs,’ as man and wife,                 ‘Together of eternal life?’                 Was Paradise e`er meant to fade,                 To make which marriage first was made?                 Neither beneath him nor above                 Could man in Eden find his Love;                 Yet with him in the garden walk`d                 His God, and with Him mildly talk`d!                 Shall the humble preference offend                 In heaven, which God did there commend?                 Are ‘honourable and undefiled’                 The names of aught from heaven exiled?                 And are we not forbid to grieve                 As without hope? Does God deceive,                 And call that hope which is despair,                 Namely, the heaven we should not share?                 Image and glory of the man,                 As he of God, is woman. Can                 This holy, sweet proportion die                 Into a dull equality?                 Are we not one flesh, yea, so far                 More than the babe and mother are,                 That sons are bid mothers to leave                 And to their wives alone to cleave,                    ‘For they two are one flesh?’ But `tis                 In the flesh we rise. Our union is,                 You know `tis said, ‘great mystery.’                 Great mockery, it appears to me;                 Poor image of the spousal bond                 Of Christ and Church, if loosed beyond                 This life!—`Gainst which, and much more yet,                 There`s not a single word to set.                 The speech to the scoffing Sadducee                 Is not in point to you and me;                 For how could Christ have taught such clods                 That Cæsar`s things are also God`s?                 The sort of Wife the Law could make                 Might well be ‘hated’ for Love`s sake,                 And left, like money, land, or house;                 For out of Christ is no true spouse.                 I used to think it strange of Him                 To make love`s after-life so dim,                 Or only clear by inference:                 But God trusts much to common sense,                 And only tells us what, without                 His Word, we could not have found out.                 On fleshly tables of the heart                 He penn`d truth`s feeling counterpart                 In hopes that come to all: so, Dear,                 Trust these, and be of happy cheer,                 Nor think that he who has loved well                 Is of all men most miserable.                 There`s much more yet I want to say,                 But cannot now. You know my way                 Of feeling strong from Twelve till Two                 After my wine. I`ll write to you                 Daily some words, which you shall have                 To break the silence of the grave. VIII From Jane To Frederick                 You think, perhaps, ‘Ah, could she know                 How much I loved her!’ Dear, I do!                 And you may say, ‘Of this new awe                 ‘Of heart which makes her fancies law,                 ‘These watchful duties of despair,                 ‘She does not dream, she cannot care!’                 Frederick, you see how false that is,                 Or how could I have written this?                 And, should it ever cross your mind                 That, now and then, you were unkind,                 You never, never were at all!                 Remember that! It`s natural                 For one like Mr. Vaughan to come,                 From a morning`s useful pastime, home,                 And greet, with such a courteous zest,                 His handsome wife, still newly dress`d,                 As if the Bird of Paradise                 Should daily change her plumage thrice.                 He`s always well, she`s always gay.                 Of course! But he who toils all day,                 And comes home hungry, tired, or cold,                 And feels `twould do him good to scold                 His wife a little, let him trust                 Her love, and say the things he must,                 Till sooth`d in mind by meat and rest.                 If, after that, she`s well caress`d,                 And told how good she is, to bear                 His humour, fortune makes it fair.                 Women like men to be like men;                 That is, at least, just now and then.                    Thus, I have nothing to forgive,                 But those first years, (how could I live!)                 When, though I really did behave                 So stupidly, you never gave                 One unkind word or look at all:                 As if I was some animal                 You pitied! Now, in later life,                 You used me like a proper Wife.                 You feel, Dear, in your present mood,                 Your Jane, since she was kind and good,                 A child of God, a living soul,                 Was not so different, on the whole,                 From Her who had a little more                 Of God`s best gifts: but, oh, be sure,                 My dear, dear Love, to take no blame                 Because you could not feel the same                 Towards me, living, as when dead.                 A hungry man must needs think bread                 So sweet! and, only at their rise                 And setting, blessings, to the eyes,                 Like the sun`s course, grow visible.                 If you are sad, remember well,                 Against delusions of despair,                 That memory sees things as they were,                 And not as they were misenjoy`d,                 And would be still, if ought destroy`d                 The glory of their hopelessness:                 So that, in truth, you had me less                 In days when necessary zeal                 For my perfection made you feel                 My faults the most, than now your love                 Forgets but where it can approve.                 You gain by loss, if that seem`d small                 Possess`d, which, being gone, turns all                 Surviving good to vanity.                 Oh, Fred, this makes it sweet to die!                    Say to yourself: ‘`Tis comfort yet                 ‘I made her that which I regret;                 ‘And parting might have come to pass                 ‘In a worse season; as it was,                 ‘Love an eternal temper took,                 ‘Dipp`d, glowing, in Death`s icy brook!’                 Or say, ‘On her poor feeble head                 ‘This might have fallen: `tis mine instead!                 ‘And so great evil sets me free                 ‘Henceforward from calamity.                 ‘And, in her little children, too,                 ‘How much for her I yet can do!’                 And grieve not for these orphans even;                 For central to the love of Heaven                 Is each child as each star to space.                 This truth my dying love has grace                 To trust with a so sure content,                 I fear I seem indifferent.                 You must not think a child`s small heart                 Cold, because it and grief soon part.                 Fanny will keep them all away,                 Lest you should hear them laugh and play,                 Before the funeral`s over. Then                 I hope you`ll be yourself again,                 And glad, with all your soul, to find                 How God thus to the sharpest wind                 Suits the shorn lambs. Instruct them, Dear,                 For my sake, in His love and fear.                 And show how, till their journey`s done,                 Not to be weary they must run.                 Strive not to dissipate your grief                 By any lightness. True relief                 Of sorrow is by sorrow brought.                 And yet for sorrow`s sake, you ought                 To grieve with measure. Do not spend                 So good a power to no good end!                    Would you, indeed, have memory stay                 In the heart, lock up and put away                 Relics and likenesses and all                 Musings, which waste what they recall.                 True comfort, and the only thing                 To soothe without diminishing                 A prized regret, is to match here,                 By a strict life, God`s love severe.                 Yet, after all, by nature`s course,                 Feeling must lose its edge and force.                 Again you`ll reach the desert tracts                 Where only sin or duty acts.                 But, if love always lit our path,                 Where were the trial of our faith?                 Oh, should the mournful honeymoon                 Of death be over strangely soon,                 And life-long resolutions, made                 In grievous haste, as quickly fade,                 Seeming the truth of grief to mock,                 Think, Dearest, `tis not by the clock                 That sorrow goes! A month of tears                 Is more than many, many years                 Of common time. Shun, if you can,                 However, any passionate plan.                 Grieve with the heart; let not the head                 Grieve on, when grief of heart is dead;                 For all the powers of life defy                 A superstitious constancy.                 The only bond I hold you to                 Is that which nothing can undo.                 A man is not a young man twice;                 And if, of his young years, he lies                 A faithful score in one wife`s breast,                 She need not mind who has the rest.                 In this do what you will, dear Love,                 And feel quite sure that I approve.                    And, should it chance as it may be,                 Give her my wedding-ring from me;                 And never dream that you can err                 T`wards me by being good to her;                 Nor let remorseful thoughts destroy                 In you the kindly flowering joy                 And pleasure of the natural life.                 But don`t forget your fond, dead Wife.                 And, Frederick, should you ever be                 Tempted to think your love of me                 All fancy, since it drew its breath                 So much more sweetly after death,                 Remember that I never did                 A single thing you once forbid;                 All poor folk liked me; and, at the end,                 Your Cousin call`d me ‘Dearest Friend!’                 And, now, `twill calm your grief to know,—                 You, who once loved Honoria so,—                 There`s kindness, that`s look`d kindly on,                 Between her Emily and John.                 Thus, in your children, you will wed!                 And John seems so much comforted,                 (Like Isaac when his mother died                 And fair Rebekah was his bride),                 By his new hope, for losing me!                 So all is happiness, you see.                 And that reminds me how, last night,                 I dreamt of heaven, with great delight.                 A strange, kind Lady watch`d my face,                 Kiss`d me, and cried, ‘His hope found grace!’                 She bade me then, in the crystal floor,                 Look at myself, myself no more;                 And bright within the mirror shone                 Honoria`s smile, and yet my own!                 ‘And, when you talk, I hear,’ she sigh`d,                 ‘How much he loved her! Many a bride                    ‘In heaven such countersemblance wears                 ‘Through what Love deem`d rejected prayers.’                 She would have spoken still; but, lo,                 One of a glorious troop, aglow                 From some great work, towards her came,                 And she so laugh`d, `twas such a flame,                 Aaron`s twelve jewels seem`d to mix                 With the lights of the Seven Candlesticks. IX From Lady Clitheroe To Mrs. Graham                 My dearest Aunt, the Wedding-day,                 But for Jane`s loss, and you away,                 Was all a Bride from heaven could beg!                 Skies bluer than the sparrow`s egg,                 And clearer than the cuckoo`s call;                 And such a sun! the flowers all                 With double ardour seem`d to blow!                 The very daisies were a show,                 Expanded with uncommon pride,                 Like little pictures of the Bride.                 Your Great-Niece and your Grandson were                 Perfection of a pretty pair.                 How well Honoria`s girls turn out,                 Although they never go about!                 Dear me, what trouble and expense                 It took to teach mine confidence!                 Hers greet mankind as I`ve heard say                 That wild things do, where beasts of prey                 Were never known, nor any men                 Have met their fearless eyes till then.                    Their grave, inquiring trust to find                 All creatures of their simple kind                 Quite disconcerts bold coxcombry,                 And makes less perfect candour shy.                 Ah, Mrs. Graham! people may scoff,                 But how your home-kept girls go off!                 How Hymen hastens to unband                 The waist that ne`er felt waltzer`s hand!                 At last I see my Sister`s right,                 And I`ve told Maud this very night,                 (But, oh, my daughters have such wills!)                 To knit, and only dance quadrilles.                 You say Fred never writes to you                 Frankly, as once he used to do,                 About himself; and you complain                 He shared with none his grief for Jane.                 It all comes of the foolish fright                 Men feel at the word, hypocrite.                 Although, when first in love, sometimes                 They rave in letters, talk, and rhymes,                 When once they find, as find they must.                 How hard `tis to be hourly just                 To those they love, they are dumb for shame,                 Where we, you see, talk on the same.                 Honoria, to whose heart alone                 He seems to open all his own,                 At times has tears in her kind eyes,                 After their private colloquies.                 He`s her most favour`d guest, and moves                 My spleen by his impartial loves.                 His pleasure has some inner spring                 Depending not on anything.                 Petting our Polly, none e`er smiled                 More fondly on his favourite child;                 Yet, playing with his own, it is                 Somehow as if it were not his.                    He means to go again to sea,                 Now that the wedding`s over. He                 Will leave to Emily and John                 The little ones to practise on;                 And Major-domo, Mrs. Rouse,                 A deal old soul from Wilton House,                 Will scold the housemaids and the cook,                 Till Emily has learn`d to look                 A little braver than a lamb                 Surprised by dogs without its dam!                 Do, dear Aunt, use your influence,                 And try to teach some plain good sense                 To Mary. `Tis not yet too late                 To make her change her chosen state                 Of single silliness. In truth,                 I fancy that, with fading youth,                 Her will now wavers. Yesterday,                 Though, till the Bride was gone away,                 Joy shone from Mary`s loving heart,                 I found her afterwards apart,                 Hysterically sobbing. I                 Knew much too well to ask her why.                 This marrying of Nieces daunts                 The bravest souls of maiden Aunts.                 Though Sisters` children often blend
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